Why the Straight One? | Book 1 | bxb

Excerpt 2

Jonathan's call worried me. At first, he said he was just calling to wish me a happy birthday, but as we talked he started dropping hints. Elliot wasn't okay. There was disquiet throughout the whole kingdom. Something was brewing, and Jonathan was at the head of it. Then he asked if we could use my estate after Alex and I came to visit. Something about sending Elliot there. I tried to put the phone call to the back of my mind, and spent the day with Alex and his family.

It was late when we got back from McDonald's, and we went right to sleep. Or rather, Alex did. Nighttime was the worst time for my active brain. Every time I closed my eyes, images from ten years ago flashed before me. I would blink, and they would be gone, but no amount of blinking could erase them from my memory.

I hissed in pain, and realized that I had been scratching at my arm the whole time I was trying to shake the memories. A habit for when things were getting to be too much for me, but one which hadn't happened to me in years. Angry red lines traced their way down my forearm.

Think about something else. Think about something else. I pulled at my hair, trying to physically change what I was imagining in my mind. How was it that all of the nightmarish thoughts were hitting me now? I'd been through all of this before in my teenage years. I sighed at how weak I must be to be so affected this many years later.

Alex shifted in his sleep, and snatched eagerly at the distraction. Think about Alex instead. Yes, think about how you don't deserve him.
I shook my head, trying to silence the voice of my own mind.

But why did he like me anyways? What could possibly make him tolerate me?

Maybe because he doesn't know about how disgusting you really are. I reminded myself. Because he doesn't know how far you've relapsed. Imagine if he knew what you were thinking right now...

I got quickly out of the bed, moving to stand in front of the window. With my thoughts had come a feeling of suffocation. As if all the air in my lungs was being forced out by an oppressive weight on my chest. I pressed my forehead against the cool glass, praying for this night to end, and for the ability to sleep.

"Why are you calling me again?" It was seven in the morning, and Alex was still asleep. I think I dozed off for an hour or so in the early morning, but even that didn't last long.

"Do I have your word that you will support me?" Jonathan's voice was hushed and in earnest.

"Of course. In anything."

"Good. When you two come in a week, I am going to need your support. We are going to finally make the king answer for every action, and I thing you deserve to be there. We are going to force him to abdicate."

"Who is we?" This was no small thing. If this wasn't pulled off correctly, it could end in civil war.

"Jordan, me, most of the palace guards, and a lot of the noblemen. The people have no love for Jasper, and neither do those of higher rank. Here in the palace, people are starting to notice how poorly he is treating Elliot. Everyone loves him, and so naturally, they don't like what they see. Now is the time to strike, Thomas, and I need all my friends around me."

"You have my support. Of course, I can't say that you officially have the support of my country, but if things go well for you, I know my father will take your side."

"Thank you. I'll tell you more as it gets closer, but just be prepared when you come here soon."

The morning passed by without anything remarkable happening. That is, until I smelt it. I don't know what it was, maybe it was someone cologne or perfume, maybe it was from the tree still sitting in the middle of the living room, but whatever it was, it was unmistakably the smell of pine.