[INCOMPLETE] Letters To A Dead Man || Taekook FF || English

Letter #5

Jungkook,

Oh, God, I'm starting to forget things. I kept looking over the last few letters I've written and things just didn't feel right. I felt like what I wrote just wasn't right. Then it came to me... I did meet Seokjin and Hoseok, didn't I? See how messed up I've become without you? I'm so scared that I'm going to forget what you look like and how everything was with you.

I don't ever want to forget. It would hurt more than it already does right now. I just want to keep you in my sweet memories and hold you forever but I know that's not possible and it's killing me. My counsellor is trying out all these exercises with me to try to help me move on but I'm not even sure if I want to move on. Because moving on means forgetting.

I don't want to forget the day you grew out your hair just to reveal a different brown. A darker shade than mine, even. I don't want to forget your face, your brown eyes, the day we adopted our first child, the day I asked you to marry me, I don't want to forget any of that!

I just want you back and then I can have everything. I can have everything I'm used to. My husband, a complete family, happiness...

Mellodi tells me to be strong for the rest of the kids and I'm trying, believe me, but I'm slipping and I can't pick myself up because I need you and you're not here. I love you, I'm in love with you, and I will love you until the day that I join you up there.

I just... I can't believe I forgot two very important people that helped me on my journey to find you. I need some sleep, but I can't guarantee I'll get any without you here.

Forever,

Kim Taehyung