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。。。
"we don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents"
he feels strange. the random blows of nausea and vomiting hasn't subsided. along with that he's had this weird feeling in his breast. he started feeling sick a few weeks ago. what if something is seriously wrong?
"seungkwan!" he calls the deep blue haired boy, who in turn peeped his round head between the double doors of his office
"yes mr.kim?"
"please see if my physician has an opening later on this afternoon, that will be all, thank you."
the young man nods and retracts his head and closing the doors, leaving namjoon alone, alone with his thoughts
ugh, he hates them, he doesn't want to think anymore, he just wants to...
。。。
he sat in the waiting room anxiously, the doctors has always made him nervous, he asked one of his lovers to accompany him but received a no from jimin, claiming he had an important appointment to go to
a no and ridicule from taehyung "when will you grow out of your fear of doctors joonie bear, aren't you a little to old for that?"
is he a little to old for that? maybe there is truly something wrong with him
and radio silence from jungkook, nothing new on his part, the last time he'd spoken to the younger was a few weeks ago, uttering the words i love you after being ravished by the younger, lips bitten red, hair slick from sweat, and tears staining his cheeks after the three words go undittoed
the couple across from him begin giggling to each other, he can't help but to feel as though there laughing at him, he feels his already quickened heart rate increasing, and the palms of his hands beginning to sweat
they're laughing at you
they know you're a grown man afraid of the doctors
they're wondering when you'll grow up and stop being such a baby
they know you're being cheated on
they know you're just some-
"namjoon. kim namjoon."
he'd been so inside his head he hadn't heard the opening of the door, he hadn't noticed the nurse standing there with her clip board in clutch, and he hadn't seen the couple across from him looking at him in worry
he stood up shakingly, unable to stop the tremor that attacks his right leg, and briskingly makes his way to the nurse who then guides him too his room
"mr.kim will be with you in a moment, please have a seat." he gives her a nod, not meeting her eyes, you've embarrassed yourself enough today having a seat, he wipes his moist hands on his suit pants and pats at his blushed cheeks
"you just have to make it through this appointment joon, then maybe you can go home, and maybe tae will be there to hug you just like he used to do and maybe jimin will come home and join and maybe jungkook w-"
he's cut off by the opening of the door
"joon, it's so good to see you again."
"hi jin."
。。。
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