DIAMOND KEYS

TWENTY-NINE

We were at the table for breakfast and mum couldn’t stop smiling. Dad had broken the news of our ‘reconciliation’ to her that morning. Dad and I had made breakfast- what a perfect combination! The food was superb and I had even packaged some for Marc and Clay.

“It’s enough mum.”

She shook her head. “No, it’s not. I’ve never been happier Michele.”
    
Mum was smiling like a fool and it was so discomforting. Dad and I exchanged a look and we burst out in laughter.

“What?” mum asked, confused.

“Nothing.” dad and I chorused.

“Now this is the only thing I don’t like about your ‘reconciliation’, you’ll start plotting behind my back again and I’ll start feeling left out.”
     
I stood up from my seat to hug her. “There’s gonna be nothing like that mum. I love you.” I gave her a kiss on the cheek. I walked to Maxwell who was in his high chair and kissed him on the forehead. “Goodbye little one”

Then I walked to dad and he stood up to hug me. “Goodbye dad.” I stood on tiptoe to give him a peck then he smiled and gave me one too.

“Arrrrrh!” mum let out. “Get away from my husband and get going.” I laughed until I was out of the house, I still heard dad laughing. I inhaled the early December air into my nostrils and I walked down the road to Marc’s house feeling like I could conquer the world.
    
Clay just got down from his car when I got there “Hello love.”
    
I ran to hug him

“What’s this for?”
    
I just shook my head and ran to hug Marc when he came out to welcome us. “Someone’s in a happy mood.”
     
When we got inside, I served them the food and told them about my ‘reconciliation’ with my dad.

“Wow, that’s great news!”

“We’re so happy for you Michele.”

“Thanks.”

“This food tastes like it’s from heaven.” Clay said.

“Yeah, that’s because it was made by two culinary angels, my dad and I.”

“Wow!”
    
They finished eating and we went to sit in the sitting room.

“Michele, Clay and I were thinking of starting rehearsals for the talent show.” Marc began.

“That’s nice. We could start now if you want to.”
    
They exchanged a look and Clay spoke “I can’t believe you Michele.”

“What can’t you believe? I’m really happy today and I want us to win that competition. We have so many people looking unto us.”

“Well she’s right.” Marc said. “We’ll be singing White Winter Hymnal since it is gonna be Christmas time and Lay Me Down by Sam Smith as a tribute to Claire.”

“Oh! That sounds awesome Marc, I’m willing to do anything and we need to put in so much effort since we have dropped to three in number.” I smiled and stretched out my hand. “On the count of three-Debonair!”
    
Clay stretched his hand on top of mine and Marc placed his on Clay’s. “One, two, three …”

“Debonair!!!”

“That felt nice, it’s been a while!” I exclaimed but I noticed that they were no longer smiling.

“What’s wrong?”  I asked.

“Ehm… we were thinking of taking you to see Logan …. We thought you’d like to see him.”       
    
My gay mood vanished immediately. I had tried my best to be happy today, to remove him from my mind and now all my efforts had been rendered useless. Jeez!

See him? How would I be able to handle that? How would I know what to and what not to? What was I supposed to act like? Marc’s new neighbor, an old friend?
    
I scratched my head “Ehm…….you mean see him today?”
    
They noticed my mood swing and Clay was the first to speak “If you don’t want to go, just say it and we’ll forget about it.”
    
A fake smile appeared on my face. “Of course I want to go. Honestly, I miss him and would like to see him but I’m scared. What if he’s so cruel like he was when he saw me at the hospital?”
    
The pain I had felt that day when he had asked “Who’s she?” started creeping through my heart. “What if he doesn’t want me there?”

“Come on Michele, you know Logan is not a snob. If we introduce you as a friend, I’m sure he’ll want to be your friend too.” Marc tried to encourage me.

“A friend, huh?”

“Michele it’s not like. . .”

“I know, Clay. What else do I expect to be introduced as? His girlfriend who he doesn’t remember?” They smiled ruefully.

“See, it’s okay guys. We can go now.”
    
They looked at themselves.

“I’m ready, let’s go.” I said bravely.
    
Clay sighed and stood up, “Okay, let’s get going.” We got outside and Marc locked up the house. Clay took the seat behind the wheel, I the passenger seat and Marc, the back seat.
    
I didn’t know if I should feel happy or sad. I was anxious to see him and at the same time I didn’t want to because I wouldn’t know what to say and how to act. Dammit, I would have joined the drama club too!

“Michele?” Marc called from behind me.

“Yes Marc?”

“Be calm.” He said.

“I am calm, don’t I look it?” Clay gave me a look and I just smiled and repeated “I am calm.”
    
The drive seemed to be too fast. Way faster than normal. It felt like the journey had taken just three minutes. But I knew it was way longer than that. At the moment, I realized that a greater part of me didn’t want to see Logan.
   
At the same time, I missed him like hell and wanted to see him ; but, I didn’t want to see the ‘amnesia-Logan’, the one that didn’t remember me.
  
“Michele, get down.” I turned to see Clay standing with the car door opened, waiting for me to come down.
  
“You said you were ready.” Marc accused.

“I know, I know, but … but, I lied.”
    
Clay sighed and was about to close the car door. “Let’s just go back.”

“No!” I used my hands to stop the door from closing. “I’ll be a coward if I go back, we are already here.”
    
Marc walked past Clay to stand beside me. “This is not a matter of ego; we could just go back and . . .”

“No”, I interrupted. “All I’m saying is that there is no point in turning back now. I’m still going to see him one day or the other, right?”
    
Marc nodded and offered his hand for me to get down. “Let’s do this.” I said with a smile but inside I was screaming “Please take me back!”

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Love,
Prisca.