PILLOW

OH BABY

i loved you a little less that day
when i discovered what was sacred to me was something else to someone else.

when i thought you and i were the only ones.

unconditional doesn't do that.

my love replaced with something mean, something angrier, something disguised as unconditional. a monster with the prettiest, softest face. with a pride greater than her security. and with a hammer ready to collide with a stable foundation we had already built.

i shattered it. we should reconcile. i'm embarrassed.

bigger than this and the situation because i apparently thought i was so much better than someone you had previously associated with. someone you had previously been in inside.

there was a betrayal that only i felt because in this space time continuum, it's happening now, in my mind, in front of my face. over and over again

she's in for a ride.

with drunken lips and sloppy kisses, she took the treasure, picked from it and put it back.

do i still want that?

glittered in gold but alcohol fingertips.

just friends??

you were garbage to me in that moment.

but i was no better, no matter how squeaky clean, how perfect, how shiny i seem to be.

there was a darkness beside me; at my feet. i grabbed the collar from its neck and unleashed.

now you have scars.

from me.

please

forgive me.