The One I Want

1. Maybe I am a freak

Matteo's pov

"Aye! Get out of here now!" The owner of some bakery says as he tells me to leave from the back of his restaurant. I was just sitting down, hoping that someone would come by, see me, and let me have some of their food. But unfortunately, nobody has gave me food even though there's been about 4 people that had walked past me.

Getting up, I walk down the alley and bury my hands in my pockets. It's about 23 degrees outside and it's only 7:00pm. It's snowing and I have no where to go. My old "home" which consisted of hiding behind a dumpster, is a no go because every one I go to, there's always a dead body behind it.

I tried going to shelters but they wouldn't let me stay for more than 3 months and I couldn't get a job. I remember the same day my parents kicked me out. The same day they found out my secret. The secret that I've been trying to keep to myself.

Flashback

"Guys I'm home!" I yell as I dangle my keys in my hand. I just walked in the door with a bag of groceries. Mom wanted me to go buy some chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner tonight.

"Matteo can you come in the living room?" I hear my mom say. Walking to the kitchen, I put the groceries on the counter and put my keys in my pocket. Walking around the counter, I go to the living room and see both of my parents sitting down on the couch with something in their hands.

"What's wrong?" I ask and look at their faces. Mom looks like she's been crying while dad has his poker face on. When he makes that face, something's wrong.

"What are these?" Dad asks as he grabs the magazine from moms hand and throws it on the coffee table. My eyes go wide and I'm speechless. They found them. Oh no.

"Dad I can explain-" I try to say but he cuts me off when he stands up and holds his hand up. Walking closer to me, I feel fear rushing through my body, but I stand my ground.

"Are you gay Matteo?" I don't say anything, but just stare into his eyes. He obviously doesn't like that, so he swings his arm back and pushes me in the face.

Falling to the ground, my hand goes over the eye that was hit and I look up at my father as he stands over me with rage filled eyes. His hands balled into fists and I know that I won't get out of this one alive.

"Answer the question! Are you gay?" Standing up, I let my hand fall to my side and look him dead in the eyes.

"Yes I'm gay!" I shout at the top of my lungs. I hear my mother break down and cry and my father looks like he's about to kill someone.

"Get out." My face must show confusion, as he says it again.

"Get the fuck out! We don't need any fags living in our house."

I don't have anything to say but I just look around. My sisters and brothers stare at me from the staircase and I break my gaze when dad pushes me.

"Get the fuck out!" Regaining my balance, I turn around and open the door. Leaving out, I don't look back as I get into my car and leave.

Who would have thought that my own family would turn their backs on me? Why does it matter that I'm gay? They should still accept me for who I am.

Stopping at a red light, I realize that I have nowhere to go. Maybe I can go stay with my best friend Jack. Maybe he will accept me for me. Hopefully his reaction will be better than my family's.

Flashback over

That didn't go well. I was living with Jack for about 2 weeks when I thought of telling him that I'm gay. And trust me, I wish I could take it back. I wish I just kept my mouth shut. I wish I could start time over again.

He didn't take it nicely. He yelled at me, called me names, tried to fight me. And when I was getting ready to leave, he had some friends over. I couldn't fight back against 6 guys, but I certainly did try to get 1.

And that's the story of how I am currently living on the streets. No money. No job. No house. No car. No family. Nothing. I have nothing. I am nothing. Maybe Jack was right. Maybe I am a freak.