Escape from Planet Bossatron: A Septic Story

Of All the People...

    "So how far away is this lighthouse?" Jack questioned.
    "Near the outskirts of the capital," Marvin said, his arms folded impatiently. "I swear, when I get my hands on that glitchy bitch, I'm gonna-!"
    "Take it easy, Marvin," Schneeplestein sighed. "You're blood-pressure!"
    "F**k that!" Marvin snapped. "Anti's gonna pay! He could've f**kin' killed me! He could've f**kin' killed all of us!"
    "But he didn't," Chase frowned. "Anti's still our friend. Don't forget that."
    Marvin huffed and shook his head.
"Ha!" he said. "Right! Sure!"
"Marvin...," Schneep said warningly, glancing at Steve and Chad.
"I mean...!" Marvin quickly corrected himself, seeing the doctor's cue. "Yeah! I didn't mean that! He's our friend! Yeah! I'll just kick his ass...! Heh."
    "Okay," Jack said with a small laugh.
"You're optimistic, my good fellow. Good for you!"
    "That's PMA, baby!" Jack said, his smile widening.
   "Wha...?" Chad asked. "What's that, dude? A new drug?"
    "Chad," Chase said, giving his friend a hopeless smile, "maybe you should take a nap, dude."
    "Yeah," Chad said, probably not really understanding what he was being told. "You're probably right, my dude."
    With that, Chad slid to the floor of the truck and fell asleep.
    "I can't believe that that shit worked," Jack said with a laugh.
    "When Chad is stoned," Chase said, "anything goes, dude."
    "Makes sense."
    "Vell he's not going to be much use in a fight," Schneeplestein sighed. "Remind me vhy vee brought him?"
    "Think about it, Schneep," Chase said. "Do you really want Chad alone in your place?"
    "F**k no," Schneeplestein sighed. "Fine; point taken. But he's going to stay in zee car."
    "Agreed," everyone said at the same time.
🔪🎧🔪
    By the time they reached the lighthouse, it seemed that a storm would be starting soon. Jack got out of the back of the truck and sighed.
    "F**kin' perfect," he muttered. "F**kin' rain!"
    "It's not raining yet," Jackie said determinedly, getting out of the driver's seat. "We can beat it!"
    "That's the spirit, JackieBoyMan," Chase smiled.
    "LET'S DO THIS!" Marvin exclaimed.
    "Shut up!" Steve snapped. "Do you want Anti to know we're here?"
    "You sink he doesn't already?" Schneeplestein questioned, skeptically. "Zis is Anti vee're talking about."
    "Hey dudes," Chad poked his head out of the truck. "We here?"
    "Nope," Marvin said, shutting the doors in Chad's face. "Just a pit stop."
"Lock the door. Otherwise, he'll wander out after us."
    "Come on, guys!" Jackie exclaimed, looking really anxious. "Let's get going! Selah...!"
    "Vright vright," Schneeplestein said. "Lead ze vay, JhackieBoyMan."
    Jackie gave a determined nod and then began to run up towards the lighthouse entrance. Chase grabbed Jack's arm and pulled him in a different direction.
    "Chase...?"
    "Come on," Chase said. "Let's go this way."
    "But the others-,"
    "Will be fine," Chase said, giving his friend a quick glance. "I just don't want to all come from the same place. Plus, I know of other ways to get up there."
    Jack gave the others a wary look as he and Chase ran in a different direction. Then, he gave Chase a worried look.
    "You're gonna have to trust me, Jack," Chase said, giving Jack a serious look.
    "Of course, Chase," Jack said. "I trust you."
    Chase gave a determined nod and then continued on. He led Jack up to the base of a really tall tree. It wasn't as tall as the lighthouse, but it was close.
    When they reached it, Chase pushed away the bushes around the base to reveal that a ladder had been carved into the tree. Jack looked up and saw that it led to a small treehouse near the very top of the tree.
    "What's this?" Jack questioned as Chase started to climb up.
    "This was my kids' treehouse," Chase called down quietly as Jack began to follow him.
    "Oh," Jack said. "Really?"
    "Yeah," Chase said. "I built it for them when they were really small. They used to come up here all the time. They would have walkie-talkies and play spies or something like that."
    "Aw!" Jack smiled. "That's so cute!"
    "Yeah," Chase said, sounding like he was smiling himself. "It was... Or it would've been if that had happened."
    The two reached the top of the tree and climbed into the treehouse. Jack felt his heart sink on Chase's behalf when he saw how much dust and bugs had collected inside the treehouse. No one had been here in years.
    "Chase," Jack said, "do you know something about Anti's ally? Is that why you were hesitant to come?"
    "I don't know much more than what I said earlier," Chase shook his head, "but I do know one thing: whoever they are, they aren't his ally. They're using him."
    "Shit," Jack said, more worried now.
    "Okay," Chase said, going over to a window that faced the lighthouse. "Perfect; Just as I thought."
    "What?" Jack questioned, going to stand next to his friend.
    "We have a clear shot," Chase said. "Don't think I picked this tree for nothin'. It's the tallest one, and barely shorter than the lighthouse."
    "Chase," Jack said, feeling more and more nervous by the second, "what are you trying to say?"
    "We're going to climb straight to the top of the lighthouse," Chase said.
    Jack blinked, eyes wide. He was stuck in a shocked silence for a moment, then stammered out, "Nani the f**k?"
    "I know," Chase sighed. "It's gonna suck, but it's definitely a way to have the element of surprise. You know?"
    "Chase, are you f**king insane?" Jack asked weakly.
    "What's the matter with you?" Chase frowned. "I mean, I know your fear of heights is as bad as mine, but...?"
    Jack swallowed and nodded. "I am deadly afraid," he said.
    "Shit," Chase said.
    "I mean, I'll do my best," Jack said, "but it will take f**kin' forever."
    "Well it isn't that far away," Chase observed. "I'll go first and then you can have it pull you over. That way it won't take as long."
    Jack felt his stomach drop, but nodded.
🔪🎧🔪
    Jackie, Schneeplestein, Jameson, Marvin, and Steve began climbing the stairs, Jackie in the lead.
    "Hey," Steve frowned. "Where'd Jack and Chase go?"
    "Chase had a plan for taking Anti by surprise," Marvin said. "He and Jack just went to get ready for it."
    "Right," Schneeplestein said. "For our part, let us just vorry about Selah."
    "Right!" Jackie said, seeming to sprint even harder up the stairs.
    After probably five minutes of running up a spiral staircase, they reached the top, panting and gasping for air.
    "Why wasn't there a damn ramp?" Steve wheezed. "I ride a segway around for a reason!"
    "Because it's an old, f**king lighthouse, Steve," Marvin snapped. "It shouldn't need a ramp."
    "Where are they...?" Jackie questioned, looking around warily as he caught his breath. "Selah... and Anti...?"
    "So," Anti's voice came (right on cue) from somewhere in front of them, "you came to join in the fun I see!"
    Anti stepped out from behind the giant empty light and smirked, his form glitching in and out of focus. But then, as he looked around, his face fell to a sneer.    
    "Where's Jack?" He grumbled, looking furious.
    "What's it to you?" Marvin snapped. "We're here, so you're gonna deal with us!"
    "Oh really?" Anti asked, his voice rising. "And what can any of you possibly do?"
    "Well I think that you'll find it quite intriguing!"
    "Yeah," Jackie said. "Especially after what you did to everyone, asshole!"
    "It's not like anyone died again!" Anti said with a crazed laugh. "Good old hero Jackaboy came to save the day!"
    "Don't use Jhack for your excuses, Anti!" Schneeplestein snapped. "You vanted him to fail anyvay!"
    "Don't be so serious, Good Doctor!" Anti said mockingly. "I was just having a bit of fun with some old friends!"
    "Yeah," Steve snapped sarcastically. "Trying to kill them is a great idea for fun!"
    "Where's Selah?" Jackie said, giving Anti a hard stare.
    "Oh her?" Anti questioned. "She's just up top. You know... hanging out!"
🔪🎧🔪
    Sam hopped on top of Jack's shoulder and pointed at the lighthouse with his optic nerve.
    "What is it, Sam?" Jack frowned.
    Sam pointed again, jumping a little more frantically.
    "Yeah," Jack said. "That's the lighthouse... we're going up there."
    Sam shook from side to side as if to say "no". Then he pointed again, this time, moving his optic nerve upwards a little as if to say, "look a little higher."
    Jack did so and frowned.
    "Chase," Jack said, squinting, "correct me if I'm wrong, but is someone on top of the lighthouse...?"
    Chase looked up from testing the sturdiness of the cable that connected to Jack's sword and Evie. He squinted himself for a moment, and then his face fell.
    "Ah shit," he said. "That's not good, dude."
    "What?" Jack questioned. "Who is it?"
    "I think that it's Selah," Chase said.
🔪🎧🔪
    Everyone rushed to the windows and out to the small balcony. They all looked up to see Selah tied to the very top of the lighthouse, looking very frightened indeed. The ropes appeared to be puppet-strings (though stronger because they were Anti's). The group all looked back inside and saw that Anti was laughing at them.
    "Don't think that you can save her!" He said. "If anyone makes a move towards the top, I'll drop her! And that'll be one hell of a fall!"
    "You're a monster!" Jackie shouted, tears starting to appear in his masked eyes.
"You are insane! Let her go!"
    "Only when Jacksepticeye is dead!" Anti hissed angrily.
    "You sick f**k!" Marvin said. "We won't let you hurt Jack!"
    "Make a move on me, and I drop your little princess," Anti said threateningly, pointing his knife at the group. "Are you willing to risk that?"
    No one said anything. The obvious answer was no, but they didn't want to let Jack get hurt either. They had to think of something, and fast!
    "Now where's Jack?" Anti said, baring his teeth angrily.
    Then, everyone heard a faint yell begin to grow from outside of the lighthouse.
    "AaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
    CRASH!
    The glass of one side of the lighthouse shattered as Jack was practically thrown inside by the cable giving him so much momentum. He flew through the window and ran right into Anti, tackling him (unintentionally of course) to the ground.
    Chase peeked in through the cracked glass. "Well I guess that's a way of doing it," he said. "Probably could've been a little less dangerous though."
    "Thanks, Chase," Jack moaned, rolling off of Anti and onto the floor.
    Anti looked over at Jack from his position on the floor, angry.
    "You motherf**ker!" He yelled, sitting up and raising his knife at the same time.
    "Oh shit!" Jack exclaimed, rolling out of the way before Anti could stab him. "Not again! We've talked about this for f**k's sake!"
    Jack quickly scrambled to his feet, and then Sam took the opportunity to hop out of Jack's pocket and back onto Jack's shoulder. Anti got to his feet as well (after having a little trouble with getting the knife out of the floor) and gave Jack a look that read nothing but rage.
    "Still got that stupid eyeball protecting you, huh?" Anti said savagely.
    "No need to be so angry about it," Jack said, pressing the correct button for his sword. "Still... Sam?"
    The small eyeball turned to look at his friend and flipped his optic nerve into a shrug-like position.
    "Could you actually protect everyone else for me?" Jack asked. "I don't want them getting hurt."
    Sam paused for a moment and then pointed his optic nerve at Jack. Jack smiled.
    "Oh I'll be fine," he said. "Don't worry about me."
    Sam nodded, though Jack could see a glimmer of worry. He hopped down and over to Schneeplestein, who picked him up off the ground and put him on his own shoulder. He nodded at Jack encouragingly.
    "Alright, Anti," Jack said, turning to his evil ego, "this is between you and me now. Let's f**king go!"
    "That's what I wanted to hear!" Anti said. Then, he charged at Jack and started to attack with his knife. Jack quickly parried, but he was still out of practice, making it a lot harder to keep up with Anti. In video games, he had never really had to block a blow before. Usually, it gave him a pass if he missed sometimes.
    He didn't have that option here. It was either block or dodge for his life. Anti wasn't going easy on him either. He just kept going, a murderous look in his eyes.
    "Stop running, Jack!" Anti said. "That's all you ever did! You always ran from everything! You only ever wanted glory!"
    "What are you talking about, Anti?" Jack said, dodging another attack. "I thought you knew everything the others did!"
"Jhack!" Schneep yelled.
Jack chanced a short look back and saw Schneep shaking his head.
"I-I've changed, Anti!" Jack said, pretending that the "past" had been real again.
Anti seemed to react to this.
    "LIAR!" Anti yelled, lunging at Jack and tackling him to the floor. He started going for Jack's throat with the knife, but Jack quickly grabbed Anti's wrist and began to push it away.
    "Jack!" Chase, Jackie, Marvin, and Schneeplestein all yelled. Jameson's face was worried. Steve looked as though he wasn't sure of what to do.
    "JackieBoyMan," Jack panted as he and Anti wrestled for control over the knife, "get Selah! Get her down from there!"
    "But Jack-!"
    "You can do it!" Jack said. "I'll be fine!"
    "Don't lie to him, Jackaboy!" Anti said with a small, crazed laugh as Jackie ran towards the balcony of the lighthouse. "You're not coming out of this alive!"
    "Yeah I will!" Jack said, a rush of adrenaline suddenly going through him. "I have something to fight for besides myself! I have something to go back to, and things to protect!"
    "That's no different than before!" Anti sneered. "It was always for yourself!"
    "Not now," Jack said. "I'm fighting for my friends! My family! Everyone I care about and who cares about me! Why do you think I haven't left already? Huh?"
    "Because you want the glory of winning again!" Anti yelled. "I won't let that happen again!"
    "I don't need you to!" Jack yelled, kicking Anti off of him and into the shut off light. Anti stumbled back and hit his head hard on the glass and fell to the ground. Jack scrambled to his feet and looked down at Anti cautiously.
    "Is he...?" He questioned, unsure of what he was expecting.
    "From here," Schneeplestein said, "it appears that he's knocked out, but don't believe it. It could be a ruse."
    "Yeah, dude," Chase frowned. "Be careful."
"We could keep him from attacking again if we're quick."
    "I've got this," Marvin said. Then he pulled out his wand and waved it at Anti.
    Anti's unconscious body glowed green and then disappeared into glitches. Once the glitches had disappeared, Anti was inside the glass containing the light. Just then, he began to stir.
    "Good timing, Marvin," Chase said, giving the magician a pat on the back.
    "Thanks," Marvin said as Anti realized what had happened and jumped to his feet.
"Zat vas very risky, Jhack," Schneep said. "Please don't try to take Anti on alone again. You're too important for us to risk losing you like zat."
Jack nodded, still catching his breath.
"Okay," he said.
    "You bastards!" Anti yelled through the glass, pounding his fist against it. "Let me out of here!"
    "No," Marvin snapped. "This is payback for what you did to me, asshole."
    Jack gave a smirk of satisfaction, but it was soon interrupted by Selah's voice. It was strangely harsh.
    "Jack!" She called. "Come out here!"
    Jack gave the others a look, and then they all rushed outside to look up at her. They were all shocked by what they saw.
    Selah was holding Jackie by throat with one hand, poised to drop him.