The Big Book of Poetry

Numb

In silence there is serenity.

The heart is calm.

The mind is at rest.

The world is clear.

The lungs work with ease.

The body is strong.

But where there is serenity,

there is turmoil.

Without warning,

the change occurs,

from tranquility to anxiousness.

The heart races.

The mind is turbulent.

The volume spikes.

The world spins in a blur.

The air thins.

The body turns to jello.

In order to survive,

the heart must adjust.

In order to adjust,

the heart,

that was once calm,

now beats sporadically.

In order to survive,

the mind must adjust.

In order to adjust,

the mind,

that was once resting,

deciphers all incoming traffic.

In order to survive,

the lungs must adjust.

In order to adjust,

the lungs,

that were once full of air,

now struggle to breathe.

In order to survive,

the body must adjust.

In order to adjust,

the body,

that was once sturdy,

now trembles.

All these changes just to

survive.

Maybe it's easier to go numb.

But to go numb,

would cause an even greater

imbalance.

There would be no equilibrium.

No world.

No heart.

All that's left

is a body that wanders

lost

in isolation.

Gone

are all the chances to return

to serenity.

I plead to my mind,

DON'T

give in

and please

NEVER

let me

go numb.

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Author's Note

So it's definitely been WAY more than a hot minute since the last time I posted here. Life's been rough, not gonna lie.  Writing has always been an escape for me, but the last time I actually wrote for myself was back in 2013 where my family faced the beginning of our challenges.

The last poem I wrote for myself was a copping mechanism to grieve. It took a lot to share this poem as my struggle with anxiety isn't something I like to talk about. But I had the thought that there's more people out there that feel like I do about our anxiety, choosing to fight the fight behind closed doors and independently.

I wish those all the best for those fighting the battles that no one sees. We're all warriors in our own right, we just never see it. Stay strong guys, this world is a cruel and unforgiving place. But even in darkness there is light if once remembers to turn on the switch (Dumbledore anyone?)