She Is Beautiful

Fifteen

Fifteen
Snowfall

"You didn't feel the same."

Ruth cracked up at Alona's innocent thought. She tightened her grip around the cup of decaf coffee as the icy-cold wind nipped her fingers. It warmed her hands a bit. "He dumped me." She was still smiling. Like silently saying that even if it didn't work out for her and Lawrence, it was still a memory to treasure.

"H-He what?" Alona perked up her ears. That was news to her.

"It just happened. With the distance and our own university life, new people around us, we grew apart naturally."

"He looked so dejected that night. When he came home."

"You mean last year? Christmas?" Ruth laid her coffee on the flat rock that they were sitting on, slipping her hands between her thighs. "It wasn't because of me, nor the 'us.' We've decided to end things a week before." Ruth glanced at Alona, hesitating. "Alona, he visited that night for you, not for me. I was just a false front."

Alona gazed vacantly at the shades of violet and red lining the sky, at the sun slowly descending below the horizon. She couldn't seem to hear Ruth. No. She could not wrap the older girl's mind around.

"He didn't want to see you be a whimpering child when your Dad leaves. So he took you out. Your Dad wanted him to go with him though," Ruth continued, sniffing in a feeble way because of the cold. "Lawrence, that doltish brother of yours who can't show proper affection towards his own sister, I guess, just wanted to protect you from Mr. Ryans' belittling utterances. You never know, he might spit them when you try to stop him."

"My Dad was always nice to me." Alona fiddled with her still warm cup. "He loves me."

A sisterly twinkle left Ruth's lips. Alona was one naive lady. "And your Mom and your brother hates you?" When Alona didn't answer, Ruth went on, "I know unkind treatments are never right and never be right. But being nice isn't always an indication of love either. It doesn't correspond to endearment. That is why there are friends we call plastic." She took her coffee, rising to her feet. "Let's have one long chat next time, Alona. I have to catch the five thirty-three bus."

Alona forced a smile, accepting Ruth's quick hug. She stayed seated, didn't even look back to watch Ruth leave. She waited for the violet and red welkin to turn to darker hues of grey before she considered going home. With her heavy bag on one shoulder, she wended her way.

Her feet stopped at Nagoya's. But Charles, whom she had hoped to see, was no longer there. With the first snow of December lightly falling, she ambled towards Terra Cotta Park, guessing that he might be there. Her reckoned thought did not fail her. She waited for him behind the open stage, but though their eyes met after he came down with a bunch of other guys from their school, wearing the same black studded leather jackets, Charles walked past her like he did not see her standing there before him. Alona didn't try running after him nor calling his name. She figured he didn't want his friends to know about her being familiar with him.

Heading home, Alona saw Sander crossing the Crimson Street while carrying close to his chest three seemingly heavy boxes placed on top of each other. She matched his strides, offering to help. But Sander, after taking a glance, sped up his pace. Alona stood inert on the pavement, watching in complete bewilderment as Sander disappeared into the heavy snowfall.

"Do you want to freeze to death, dummy?"

Alona felt her hood get lifted. Lawrence put it on her head for her then walking to her front, he drew her coat's built-in face mask to cover half of her face. Alona hadn't felt the drastic drop of the temperature. Even with the thick snow blanketing her feet.

"Why didn't you go with Dad?" Alona had her fingers doubled tightly into her palm. "Why don't you live with him?" Her brother should have gone with him, but he was a dummy who did not know how fortunate that was.

Lawrence averted his gaze. "Mom needs me." He tucked his hands in his pockets. "And my sister needs me."