Everything I didn't say

Karen's POV

I ditched girls night this week. I know Monique do too. And yeah I met up with Ashton which is emotionally painful. And I ran in embarassment because I dont want him to see me in pain. After I got in to the cab yesterday, I was crying. Why? I don't know. His presence made me all dramatic. Maybe because I still love him. I don't know. I was just hurt so much.

/// Monique Calling....

I didn't answer it. I let her call and call until she can't call anymore.

"Honey someone's here to see you." Mom called.

"Who?" I shouted.

"Just go downstairs will you!!!" I did. When I was walking to the living room I saw Monique. She was standing there. I was just so angry at her. I want to slap her and make her feel the pain I am feeling.

But then I just walk out.

"Wait.."Then I stop.

I stared at her and I can see she's in pain too..

"Just listen,I am very sorry for everything that I did. Especially for Ashton. I am not asking for forgiveness I just want to say to you that I did care about you and I made a very reckless thing that ended up hurting people. People that I care about."

"Is that all the shit your going to say?" Then I saw her tears flow into her eyes and there it is I knew she's sincere. I never saw her cry. And it was heart breaking. As much as I want to forgive her i just can't. Not right now.

"Uhm.. Ashton wanted to give you this." Then she walked out of the door.When I got back to my room I was just staring at the box. I'm not yet ready to see what's inside. So I decided to just lie down. I wanted to sleep to keep things off my mind.  But I cant. Instead the box is like tempting me to open it. Then I fell forthe temptation I opened it. Its a bunch of letters that he written but was never sent. And Im like thinking, who does this? I mean there's email. But it was romantic. And it just proves that he never forgot about me. I opened one of the letter with a blue envelope.

Karen,

I know I told you that I wanted a break but i made a mistake. Everyday you are the one I want. The one I was missing. My world is crashing right now. You might think that I dont love you anymore but I do. You are the most smart and beautiful thing that's ever been made. Now, your going.. and I want to stop you but I know I can't because I hurted you. I wish I could make you stay but I am the one to blame why you are going. I hope we find each other again and maybe we could start from there.

Love Ashxx

P.S.

You're always here in my heart.

While I am reading the letter I couldn't help myself from crying.

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I am so guilty of staying all night and reading all his letters and it was  hell of an emotional ride. I mean my eyes are all swollen today. I can't even open my eyes properly.

*Joyce Calling....

"Hello? Its unusual that you're calling me."

"Yes, I know. You have to help me. I'm at the mall today. Hurry no questions. emergency now!!!!" Then she hangs up. Well I can't help but go. She needs me.

At the mall..

When I'm at the mall, I texted Joyce

where are you?

fountain.

Then I went there to my surprise, I saw Ash and his band playing together with Celine, Joyce,Reyna and Rachelle but no Monique.

"I wanted you to know that I love you and I want you back." Ashton said.

Then I was there standing when he sang I miss you, I was brought back to the day that we are happy. I know I love him too. I know it with all of my heart.

"Could you give me another chance" He ask? I wanted to say yes. I want to. After all of this I want him back.

"No, I'm sorry. I just can't do it. I can't." Then I walk off. I don't want to see him sad and crying but I have to first find my peace so we can start all over again.

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It has been a month now since the mall incident. And I heard that Ashton is now touring. I was happy for him I mean its his dream.

I was at the coffee shop and then I saw Joel.

"Hi" He said.

"hey, How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Can you tell Monique I want to talk to her."

"Don't worry she wants me to say the same thing to you too."

"Question, How can you forgive so easily,I mean when you heard of Monique and Ash."

"Easy, because I love her. See ya!" Then he took off.

When I was home I re read all his letters and come to think of it I was stalking his twitter and instagram account to see how he's doing. He's doing great. And I was sure that he's  happy.

After 2 years...

Living with my brother in new york is just so hard. But its fun. I am studying fashion in NYU. Then I saw a poster of 5sos. They have a show tomorrow. Too bad I have school. I am happy for him. He's now doing so well.

I go to my favorite coffee shop to get some coffee. After I got a coffee I recieved a text from Monique

Me and Joel are going to visit you! So stoked!!

While I was replying someone stood in front of me I could see his big feet. And when I looked at him.  I saw Ashton. He was wearing a band shirt with abandana on his head. Then he smiled while I'm surprised.

"Hi, I'm Ashton, nice to meet you." I was confused why he's introducing himself so I just played along.

"Karen." Then we shook hands. Its been two years since then and I still have this feeling. The feeling of excitement when he holds my hand. The feeling I never felt a long time ago.

"Do you want to ran away with me?" He asked.

"Yes.." Then he hugged me with joy and there we are, starting over again.