I Pity Her (Jelsa)

Chapter:20 The Blues

I stare at Elsa patiently, waiting for her to begin.

"It started about six years ago." she states cautiously as if someone would attack her for sharing this information.

<><><><>FLASHBACK<><><><>

Well I've always had this obsession with cutting. I cut everything. Toys. Purses. Food. You name it. Then I started cutting my own skin and that's where it started to be a problem. My parents were alive at the time.

"Elsa what have you done?" my mom looks at the large hole I've embedded in my skin. It hurts like crazy and I'm screaming in pain.

I watch as my mom throws away every sharp object in the kingdom in frustration and she walks out the room.

"Mommy?" I yell. I'm answered by silence and I stand still for a few more seconds, waiting for her to come back like she always did every time I did something stupid. This time she didn't come back.

I run down the hall and check in my parents room. Empty. I check Anna's room. Empty. I hear a blood curtailing scream coming from downstairs.

I run after the scream only to see my mom laying on the floor, a knife through her stomach, holding the bandages she was going to give me for my hand.

I look over to the left and see my dad with a gun in his hand, and a bullet through his head. I hear a door creak open and see a figure walking out the door dressed in blue.

I start running around the house, looking for Anna, the only family I had left. I check every single room until I see her outside dancing around to some music.

I rip the headphones off of her head. How could she be happy right now? "Hey! What was that for?" she yells.

"Mommy and Daddy are dead!" I cry out. I fall to the ground, not caring about Anna's reaction.

<><> END OF FLASHBACK<><>

"After that I just thought about how I killed my parents. My mom got stabbed because I needed bandages for doing something stupid. It looked like my dad shot himself because he couldn't live without my mom... He committed suicide. Because of me!"

Tears are flooding down her face now and I'm resisting the urge to yell at her, tell her that it wasn't her fault, because I know that it'd be pointless.

"Every since then I've stayed away from knifes. I don't even cut my own food. That's the most painful thing I've ever experienced and its been eating at me ever since."

"You know those nightmares I keep having?" she says while gulping back her sobs. I nod encouraging her to continue.

"Well those nightmares consist of a blue monster coming up to me and cutting me everywhere. It brings up too many memories. To me it symbolizes that I should have been the one that was killed by that monster. I deserve to be cut and beaten for killing my parents. I deserve every bit of it."

"I've had that nightmare thousands of times, but when I met you...That's when the nightmares got worse."

"I don't even know what happened this morning though. This time I felt the pain of the knife. I felt the feeling of betrayal and darkness and it ate me alive. I'm guessing the pain was as real as it felt, because when I woke up I had scars and all the same places as the dream."

"So when Santa turned off the lights, it just reminded me of the darkness and the creature that killed my parents. Then the blue flashlight made it worse. I was scared out of my mind."

"So now you know I guess. I live with the guilt everyday and now I jut found out that my powers trigger it. I'm so messed up that my brain wants to hurt myself by sending me into this depression. I keep thinking that maybe it's best I die so I don't have to deal with this. Then I think of you and Anna and say no. You save me in so many ways."

By this point I'm in tears as I desperately pull Elsa in for a hug. She is bawling into my shoulders now, I don't know what to do to make her feel better. I never knew she had to deal with this, and I didn't know I meant that much to her.

I never knew I helped her this much.

"C'mon, lets go back home." I say into Elsa's ear. Elsa sits up and gently cups my face.

"You'll never leave me?" She says in a whisper that only I could hear.

"Never."

I pick her up and teleport us back to her house. I lay her down and she instantly falls asleep. It's been a long day.