Mental [#Wattys 2015]

Chapter 12

A/N
I updated the chapter!😊 this, my friends, is where the magic happens.

P.S. I'm picturing Chloe Grace Mortez as our lovely Tessa, and Nat Wolff as Ricky. What do you suggest?

- m

Awaken by the bright shine of the sun, I feel a certain warmness all over my body.

A warmth not even the sun could bring.

It was Ricky, asleep next to me, arms limp around my torso.

I laughed at the realization we had slept on the rooftop. As sleep slowly faded out of me, I thought back to the events of last night:

"...I may not know God, but you are my heaven."

Imagine, you just saw the love of your life step unto the ledge of a building, and you came to save him in a fraction of time.
Then, he tells you the most beautiful words you'll ever hear.

Wouldn't you be a little speechless?

I sat there, staring at Ricky like an idiot, not saying a word. I could see the concern through his wrinkled eyebrows and slight pout as the seconds of silence passed. My blank expression was definitely scaring him, and I try desperately to gather my thoughts.

Then, just like that, it happened.

The words hit me like fire, thawing my cold heart from years of abuse.

I could feel it beating out my chest, wanting more.

Wanting more love.

I reached out my hand, grabbing his neck.
Leaning in, I took a second to breathe in his scent, his being.
Getting eager, he bites my bottom lip, pulling me in.
Kissing him slowly, I trace his hemline, crawling my cold fingers up his warm stomach. One of his hands is weaving it's way into my hair, the other is pressed against my thigh, lifting me onto his lap.
Testing the waters, I slowly raise his shirt up.

Well, it must've been high tide, because those waters were ready to roll.

He bundles up my shirt, lifting it over my head. I do the same to his, but unfortunately, not as slick.
The shirt gets stuck halfway over his head, but after a couple tugs, I freed him.

"I almost forgot how smooth you are, Tessa Lynn."
Throwing my head back, I laugh and say, "Yes, there have been better moments, I admit."

Staring at the stars, I feel his lips leaving warm kisses down my chest.

I exhale, closing my eyes and enjoying the bliss he brought to me.
He lays himself on top of me, nibbling at my ear, and sucking on my neck.

The first bruise I'm proud of.

His calloused hands were like feathers to me, running down my spine.

I open my eyes, resting my hands on his scarred chest. He looks off into the distance, waiting for me to say something about them.
I gently trace the jagged lines.

He exhales a breath he must've been holding, "Ugly, aren't they?"

I keep my focus on the little constellations dancing on his chest.

"They're not ugly. They're not beautiful. They're just scars. Tissue and skin."

He grins, looking down at me. "You're right. Tissue and skin."

I reach back and unhook my bra, slipping it off my arms. He glances at my breasts, but only for a second.

He brings his attention to my eyes, whispering, "I didn't have to see those to tell you you're beautiful."

I look down, slightly embarrassed. "...but, now seeing them, damn."

I bite my lip, giggling at him. I teach down to his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them. "Are you sure?" He asks.

"I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

The electricity between us was so powerful, we could light up the fucking universe.

Speaking of universe, I felt like we were on another galaxy.

For a small fraction of time, it was me and him, him and I, us, together, here.

Alive.

I saw a side of him no one else has ever bothered to look for. A side of him that was vulnerable, sensitive, and needing of love.

I may have had sex before, but this was different.

No, this wasn't just sex; this was love, real, meaningful love.

For once, I wasn't doing it because I had to-but because I wanted to.

I never thought my life would end up like the movies.

If anything, my life would be American Horror Story:Asylum or Girl, Interrupted.

But for once, for once in my fucking life, that wasn't my expectation.

I felt like fucking Nicholas Sparks when he looks at me.

God, when he looks at me, it's what every girl dreams about.

His droopy eyes admiring my every freckle, every laugh line.

With him, I wasn't bound the standards society set for me.

For the first time in my life, I felt whole.

Free.

Freedom-now that's a word unfamiliar to me.

Ever since I was a little girl, all I've searched for is freedom.

I tried looking in alcohol and drugs.

I tried other men, and even women.

I tried looking for it in the cuts of my arms, or the bruises on my neck.

But, all this time, I've been searching in the wrong places and the wrong people.

The answer was always right in front of me.

Ricky gave me the push that I needed to realize who was going to save me.

Me.

I was it all along.

My own knight in shining armor.

This whole battle has been led by me.

I've been the dictator, the soldier, the victim, the martyr.

But I'm done with the bloodshed.

Wave the white flag, because this war is over.

I'm letting freedom ring.