Mastermind I Nyongtory

Chapter 12

Jiyong had rang the bell to Seungri's apartment numerous times but unsurprisingly no one opened the door. The leader couldn't tell whether he was being ignored and Seungri was at home or if the latter actually wasn't there. And it drove the older insane.

The guilt he felt was messing with his head and the only reason he could stay focused was that he knew if he didn't he wouldn't get his maknae back, and to him there was nothing worse than that scenario.

But aside the guilt there was also pain, he was hurting, not for himself but for the younger. It always took a lot to anger Seungri and the band had overdone it, not just slightly but immensely. The youngest of the group had always had to bear so much, he seemed so strong and mature at times that Jiyong occasionally forgot that he was only human, a boy that had to grow up too fast and endure too much, yet stood tall for over ten years until he broke. And Jiyong let it happen. Him, the leader and the one closest to Seungri was one of the reasons the other left and Jiyong knew that even if he could get Seungri back, never in his life would he be able to forgive himself for the pain he inflicted on his little maknae; The one he vowed to protect from the moment, the evening, they had watched their favorite drama together for the first time. He could still see the younger's sparkling eyes, wide in surprise, as Jiyong took his hand when the two main characters on the tv screen rejoined after their difficult adventures. Seungri had been so happy to be finally recognized and back then Jiyong couldn't help but reciprocate the smile the younger showed him. The leader's heart had skipped a beat and stuttered then, only to find himself totally smitten with Seungri ever since.

And now he might have lost him forever. The person he had saved a special smile for and who had captured Jiyong's heart in a matter of seconds when he let his guard down.

Jiyong would never forgive himself.

There, it happened again. Every few minutes his mind just wandered off and left him motionless, it was a wonder he made it to Seungri's apartment, driving. But if he was being honest he didn't trust himself behind the wheel at the moment, not that he really planned on going home anytime soon.

The leader had already called Seungri a thousand times, to no avail, and reached out to the other's parents and Hanna, but apparently they didn't know anything. Again, Jiyong wasn't completely sure if they told him the truth or just tried to cover Seungri, but it didn't matter because one way or another he wouldn't get any information. When he gave Youngbae a call all he was told was that he couldn't find any clue about the maknae and soon after Seunghyun texted him saying they didn't have any new information either. So Jiyong just sat down in front of Seungri's door.

If he wanted he could just enter the apartment, he knew the code, but that didn't feel right, he couldn't just intrude Seungri's privacy when he made it clear that he didn't want that. Instead he would wait and while he was at it he also just let his tears fall, because - who the fuck cared?

Bringing his knees to his chest, the rapper sobbed again. Just like this morning, when YG had called the band to his office, Jiyong broke down like he barely ever had in all his life. He had been angry at Seungri for keeping just what kind of life he was leading, with being such a successful businessman, from him but what right did he have to know anyway? It made Seungri happy and that was all that counted. That's what Jiyong should've considered from the very beginning because it wasn't just about himself, every single person and their feelings are valuable and important, so why did he and the other members use their maknae to their own amusement when it was hurting Seungri?

What was he supposed to do? Did Seungri hate him now? What if he never spoke to him again?

As the thoughts stung the idols heart, all he could do was pray for at least another chance to show the most important person in his life just what he meant to him, another chance to tell that he...

...loved him. Dearly.