Resolve

Chapter 2: Weight

 An: Haven't been feeling well. I'm sorry. Hope I still have readers. If you have panic issues, be careful with this one.  
    
     Jack was not amused. His siren, the one in the field was missing. Mordecai's stupid bird escaped experimentation, as well. He hadn't realized how much (y/n) did for him until (y/n) was gone. He reclined in his office, feet up on his desk as he thought of how furious he was. That she thought she could just...leave like that. He had his best personnel on locating her as soon as possible, but they weren't coming up with anything.

     "Oh kiddo, when I get my hands on you...I'm gonna make the rest of you black and blue."

     As if on cue, one of the more nervous women staffing his corporation entered. Yvette, Jack thought her name was. "Sir, I..-"

     "Spit it out, Stutters McWastemytime." Jack was in no mood to feign charm or politeness.

     Almost bowing as she held out her findings, she said nothing else. Jack took the medium yellow envelope and undid the stark red string at the top. He tore the top off and upended it, shaking out a single sheet of paper. He studied it, nothing how it was yellowed with age, torn on the edges. It had not been intentionally left behind. It was a drawing of him done in painstaking detail. He felt a strange feeling stealing over his veins the more he observed it. On the back were some plans referring to the next "loop", to saving Bloodwing. His mind turned like gears as dots connected.

     He wore no mask.

X

     You sat on the edge of the lookout, hand on your ribs. Normally, when you experienced a failure, you just reset into a new loop. It was the first time in a long time that pain just stuck with you. You could hear Mordecai sleeping behind you and knew without looking that Bloodwing was watching you with one, careful eye.

     You'd always thought she remembered you, because after the loop with Mordecai, she displayed open trust each time you tried to save her. You just never thought Mordecai himself would be affected by the same...anomaly that caused items to stay behind in a loop during reset.

     You turned this over in your head until it hurt, trying to find something, anything that explained why it happened. You also longed for your notebook, or any source of writing paper really. You needed to take meticulous notes, especially now that the game had changed. The other players were aware, or at least one of them was. As far as you knew, Jack just suspected you had the ability to make small freezes or speed things up by a few seconds. As far as you knew, he had no clue of the scope of your siren powers. But then, everything you thought you knew, thought you had down, was proving to be something of an illusion.

     You swallowed. There was a small chance intense duress could trigger a reset, like, for example if you were going to die any other way. It would probably hurt you pretty badly to force it. Maybe put you in a coma. Maybe kill you. You hung your head, feeling the full weight of someone who had watched her purpose fail a thousand and one times, with no hint of it ever getting better. It overwhelmed you sometimes, and Mordecai had struck a chord. Why hadn't you given up? Why were you still trying? You squeezed yourself smaller, as tightly into a ball as you could and focused on breathing breath by breath.

     But time was merciless on those who stood in the middle, unaffected. You could feel the pressure, the weight of your failure pressing down. Your lungs compressed and your cracked ribs complained at the position you were in. You panted, wanting to throw out your limbs, anything to feel bigger. Your body didn't heed, feeling danger and shrinking. You shook with the weight of holding back cries of frustration. It was lonely, resetting over and over, without so much as a grain of salt for your efforts. It was crushing each time you realized this. In Hyperion, you had access to top notch labs and a pharmacy for nerve calming pills that could make you stop feeling anything; help you sleep. When this didn't work, you had expensive alcohol, courtesy of Jack. Here...you had nothing but memories of things you'd probably never get to keep.

     You opened your eyes at the sudden hand on your arms, pulling you closer to a solid mass. It was warm. They were uncurling you, peeling your compacted limbs apart, pressing your face into a chest. Rocking. You shuddered, in the middle of sensory overload. There were gentle prods at your ears and you relaxed at the familiar feeling of moldable, rubbery ear plugs fitting to your ear canals, the soft whispers of air from someone breathing next to your cheek. The smell wound up into your nose and curled down into your lungs. Gradually, your muscles loosened and you uncurled a little more, letting yourself be limp while you breathed in metered bursts, making yourself count to four between every inhalation and each exhalation.

     Eventually, you felt Mordecai stand and move back inside. Still carrying you, he went around and shut all the blinds, which were little more than metal flaps, and flipping the lights off. Then he sank into the bed, his legs folded under him. He was quiet for a few spaces of time. "Are you going to tell me what it was about this time, or wave it off like you did each other time?"

     You were suddenly very tired, very weary. And lonely. "Holding court with time itself is exhausting and solitary. It's lonely and I live with every failure meaning thousands of lives lost that I could've saved if I'd just...Done something, anything different. Better."

     He was quiet again, clearly deliberating. "But you aren't alone. Not anymore. If we just talk to Lil' and the others, we can get them onboard. You can stop doing it over and over. As much as I hate him, I really like you. So...there's really no contest. I'll help you against my better judgement because I'd rather you get it right than do this to yourself again." You were struck into silence. Mordecai was the one everyone thought was just a drunk with no depth to his character other than his bird and his ex Moxxi.

     You knew better. You had been the one to get close to him, spend time with him outside of Vault Hunting. He had a very sincere, affection starved side of him that often came out to the right people. You lifted your head to find him close enough to your ears to keep speaking. "Mordecai-"

      "It's in the past." He sat back up. "You need to focus on recovering. I'm not taking you through a fast travel station until you can walk to it yourself." You grimaced. Going down the stairs to his roost was going to suck ass even if you waited another week. Just breathing hurt right now.

X

     Jack leafed through another page. His incredulity grew with each flip. Page after page after page of notes on Angel, himself, and the bandits. There were also no less than seven pages on the basics of time traveling. His siren had much more power than she'd let on if any of it was to be believed. He supposed there was one way to find out, because according to the notes the next thing the bandits would try to do was assault control core Angel and attempt to kill his baby girl. He tapped his chin idly with one finger.

     "Oh kiddo, you shouldn't lie to me..." All the same, he felt a surge of excitement. There were also plans for a portable eridium delivery system which he already had his lab technicians working on. Once that was done and his baby was free from harm, he'd send her out with Timothy to hide out the war under guard. Then he would acquire his new siren.

     He hummed thoughtfully. There were upwards of five thousand recorded attempts. How many years was she doing this behind my back? Clearly, his siren had some kind of attachment to him he had not previously noted. This was good. Attachments could be used against those concerning them.

     As he was about to put the booklet down and reach for another drink of whiskey, he saw a name on a folded corner and flipped to the last section. Scanning, he grabbed the phone on his desk, pulling it over and pushing the button for his secretary. Things were moving very quickly indeed.