The days drag on that fast I didn't realize summer has already ended. My mind flew out of the sight beside my bedside table. It was a picture of me and my Dad when we were celebrating his 50th birthday, his last birthday with us. As difficult as it is I know I'll accept it as the time flew but not now, the wounds were cut too deep to gain its normal feature.
My life has changed, well for me of course but not for my mother. She continues to live normal as odd as it sounds and I hate that I'm the one who remembers my father did exist in our life. Why does it have to end that bad? My father was a good person, he was then why took him God? Why?
I stared at the photograph for minutes before realizing the fact that I'm crying. I sit back and bed and wiped my eyes out with my blanket. It has been weeks and it felt like my father has been on his trip to London. I know that he is wearing his smile now, for he can't be able to locate his sickness now that he is not with us anymore. I'm happy but I just wish I could have enough time to be with him.
"Summer you need to get up. You have school to attend to. " My mom stumbles across my door while trying to put her earrings on. I just stared at her in response.
"Summer please. " She begged. "Don't make this harder than it already is. "
For the past few weeks, I had learned to speak without words. I don't need them now (or that's what I thought) but who cares, no one cares for me. Not even my Dad.
After I got dressed with my normal outfits-- dark skinny jeans, black shirt and a pair of my old converse that I got last Christmas from my sister.
I heard the front door shut. Guess my mother left early again. She always does that, leaving without saying goodbye since we lost Dad and whats worse is that my sister went abroad after we sent our last goodbye with Dad. Now, I'm currently living alone.
No one understands me. And now I have to put up with my normal routine everyday and pretend like the death of my father didn't exist or my father didn't exist. God I miss him.
On the corner of the room I saw our family picture. Dad was so happy with Mom and my sister with us smiling yet a disease caused us to go downward with this. When I first heard that my Dad was suffering from cancer I didn't know it was that deadly. Well, I know cancer is serious but from his part , I didn't know that cancer travel that fast and after one month I didn't know that the one man I treasured the most has died.
I'm not gonna lie that I'm mad. Mad with the persons with me, mad with the environment, mad with the world. Gee, whats worse is that I know its bad blaming the world but I am and I guess people has to deal with it.
Last year, my parents got me a mini cooper which I love the most. Because its small and fit and well, it suited me. My Dad and I has some great memories in there since this is my first car. Inside, I lock myself and drove from the path I dreaded the most. School.
I love school honestly but with all the madness and stuff I kinda feel a little off the wire. Dad wants me to graduate and go to Uni and with this, I guess I have to fulfill his wish for me. Its just a shame that Dad wouldn't see me, Dad won't be with me when I graduate, Dad won't be here with me to celebrate. Besides those people reminds me of the old days which I couldn't get pass now. Its history.
Arriving in school with the popular students is somewhat clinging into my existence. It's more of a internal situation where you want to escape away from the crowd. I have to say right now, people don't recognize my existence. They were all happy about school days is really here but to tell you the truth, they were happy because of the party and after school programs. I am though, a student.
I clung to my jansport backpack all the way to the registrars office. I have to get my schedule today before the line will get longer. My eyes travels across the room where I first met my favorite place- Library. The doors were locked so I kept my pace through the walls of the registrar.
One thing about this institution is that you need to work your ass off to get what you want. And might as well put your efforts into it everytime.
I had my number on my palm with all the papers and stuff Mrs.Waters gave me. Right as I was to go I bump into a person.
Ugh.
I didn't look who it was or what if he's hurt, I don't like talking. And I'm planning on staying my mouth shut for the least I could do.
"Sorry.." the guy said. I just nodded and gone to my car and drove myself to the place where I could find peace.
