St. Mary's - B.E (✓)

-8

"Why are we doing this?" Billie asked, her arms around me. I felt the hole in my heart close a little bit, filled with her presence. She was uncomfortable with me, I could tell. But she seemed at ease holding Quinley that way. Was I not what Billie wanted? I had assumed I was. Billie was mine since I first saw her. Until Quinley came to this school and Billie just couldn't resist. I felt resentful towards Quinley. What was it that she had that I didn't? Was it the hair? The eyes?

"It's all I've ever wanted" I say simply "I just want you to hold me"

Billie groans in annoyance and pushes me off her "Since when do we fucking cuddle? Jesus, what's up with you?" She stands up and starts walking towards the elective building. I chew on my lip and follow her.

The hole in my heart empties again. with her, I was whole. I am nothing now

****

I stood up and walked outside, students were screaming and teachers were telling everyone to go into their rooms for early lockdown, but nobody knew were to look, what to do. This school has been through a lot, I bet. But never this.

I've seen a few dead bodies before. But I had never seen a body like this. The once whole human being now had one eye hanging out of the socket, parts of her body torn due to the fall. I felt like I was dreaming. Like I would wake up at any moment. I felt weak, and I wanted to run all the way back home, miles from here.

"Billie" I call weakly and I feel her there, pulling me away, talking to me. I heard nothing. All I was was that eye out of its socket. The blood on the pavement.

"Look at me, mamas" Billie whispered, and I looked up. I was on her bed and she was standing over me, looking completely fine, as if nothing had happened. "You're okay" she murmured, sitting next to me and pulling me into her chest "Don't cry, baby, it's okay" she held me as I sobbed. I had never felt so disturbed in my life.

"It's not okay!" I cried, pushing Billie away from me and angrily wiping my eyes "Nothing is okay!"

"Alright" Billie said, pulling me back into her. "Just try to relax, being frantic isn't going to change anything"

I nodded, closing my eyes and trying to get myself together. Billie had a point, being frantic wouldn't change anything. After a while of Billie holding me I sat up, feeling less like I was about to collapse. Billie stood up and grabbed something from her dresser before coming back over to me and tying my hair into a ponytail. She tilted my chin up with her finger and wiped a few stray tears from my eyes, and places a kiss on my forehead. "You're going to be okay" she said, her voice soft.

"Did you know?" I asked, afraid of the answer. Billie and Savannah spent a lot of time together earlier. Billie shakes her head, starting to unbutton her shirt. I look down so I didn't see her.

"We went to the treehouse and just sat below it, and then she came and moved under me, and I was like why am I holding you, and she said it's all she ever wanted"

"Why the bracelet?" I bring my eyes back to her. Billie tugs her shirt down and clears her throat. She takes the bracelet from her dresser and tosses it in to me. I catch it and notice the charm hanging off of it, and choke up a bit.

"Love you till my last"

"Jesus, Billie" I whisper "She loved you"

Billie ties her hair up into a ponytail "Well, I didn't love her. Still don't, nothing can change that" I shiver and feel myself get unnerved again "How could you say that?" I ask "She's dead"

"Exactly. Why would I lie? If everyone wants to pretend they were the best of friends with Savannah, then fine. I'm not doing it. You didn't know anything about her, Quinley. You met her three days ago. Don't start your shit"

I stay silent and take in Billie's words. She always seemed to be right. Today, at least.

"Billie?" Ryantt pokes her head into the room. Seriously, we need to start locking the door more often.

"I'm coming" Billie sighs, throwing on a huge sweater and walking towards the door "And Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"Get off my bed" Billie says simply and closes the door before I can respond.

-----

lol savannah died. I told you someone would die. I said it! Yes I did! Lmao. Sorry this chapter was short.

- Special thanks to blohshy, sevendaysinlimbo and purely-eilish for always making me laugh with their awesome comments. You three are the reason I keep updating tbh, thank you for all the support. it means a lot -