My Fucked Up Life.

Excellence Week.

So.. heyy!!! What's up? I know it's been a while since the last time I checked my Wattpad! And a lot has changed. Not to be shady but what the actual fuck?! What's wrong with Wattpad's new logo? It's so.. Idunno..? Boring? But yeah!! Enough of that!!

So, here's the thing!! I'm really losing my sanity here! I've been literally inactive to all of my social medias because of school!! I'm literally bombarded with school related shenanigans! I'm so busy finishing my research paper—which is so fucking stressful and time consuming because you have to fucking write your own insights and check if there's typos or grammatical issues, then once you finished your research paper you'll think that it's finally over but once you passed it there's a 50% chance that your teacher might reject it and make you revised it!! Like the fuck can't you just accept it please?! And the worst part about all of it? Is that your groupmates are making you finish it all by yourself! Fuck!! The amount of times I almost had a mental breakdown is so fucking alarming y'all!

While being stress about my research paper I also have exams!! And tomorrow we'll be having school event and we call it excellence week where  students have their own booths and there's a lot of competition you can participate in! Like Spelling bee, Quiz bee, Dance competition (Kpop dance competition to be specific), and last but definitely not the least! We have battle of the bands and let me tell you! All grade levels are required to participate in this "Battle of the bands". And guess what?! I'll be participating on the dance competition and battle of the bands!! And it's making me lose my mind if I'm being honest with you.

You could really say that over the past week has been hectic for me because once I'm done teaching my friends the choreography.. I'll fucking make a run to the studio to fucking practice for the battle of the bands. I'm a Violinist, I wouldn't say I'm good at it, I'm average just give me the chords and give me some time to practice then I'm good! Dancing? I don't have a problem with it! I've been dancing since I was a child.

The thing is, it's hard being a Violinist in a band.. when I say band.. It's like a band band, get it? We have drummers, pianist, Guitarist, Bassist and etc. My issue it, I'm so stressed that I sometimes overthink and get conscious about everything while playing the Violin.. so once I play it you can really hear that I'm in fact "Stressing out". You have to get the beat and tempo correctly. One mistake then it'll all can be ruined in a blink of an eye.

You can really tell that I'm nervous as fuck and stressed as fuck!!