TomTord/TordTom Oneshots and eddsworld art

fun facts?

slightly mature? slightly
pft- who's gonna listen to warnings amiright—
this entire thing is a joke. i wrote this when I was more than half-asleep. I dunno if I should consider it an actual oneshot—

(Not 3rd person. Author's POV)

Edd, Tom, Matt, and Tord are sitting in the living room, bored out of their minds.
"Eeeedd! I'm bored!" Matt groans.
"Well isn't that swell." Edd responds monotonously.
"Can we do something?" Matt asks.

Edd sighs and pulls out his phone. He types in 'convetsatikn starters', realizing he can't fucking spell. He reads out the first thing that comes up.
"Tell us a fun fact about yourself." Edd announces robotically.

"Hmm..." Matt hums. "Oh! I use a mirror to talk to other dimensions!" He says excitedly.
"That's great, Matt." Tom says emotionlessly.

"Tord?" Edd asks.
"Umm...I have an aRmY," Tord sort of swings the word 'army' to make it sound sarcastic. I dunno, how do you describe that—
"Yeah, and Ringo is an all-powerful goddess." Edd says with a roll of the eyes. Ringo stares directly at you. She looks deep into your soul. Her eyes are fucking glowing- hOLY sHIT—

"Tom? What about you?" Edd asks.
"Oh, uh...I have no gag reflex." Tom says lazily. They all stare at him.
"What?" He asks, their stares making him uncomfortable.
"Prove it." Edd immediately says.
"Give me something to prove it with,"
"My dic—" Tord starts.
"Shut the fuck up,"

"Here," Matt hands Tom an abnormally long cucumber.
"Great. Something long, hard, and has 'cum' in it." Tom comments. He locks his gaze with Tord of all people because this is a tOrdToM oNeShOt—
He shoves it down without batting an eye. He leaves it there for a few seconds then just 'mlep's it out.
"That enough proof?" He asks, holding the gross, wet cucumber.
"Wish that was my dick." Tord says.

"Shut it,"
"Say Tom, are you gay?" Edd asks. Tom stares at him with a blank gaze.
"Yes he is." Tord answers.
"Wha- commie, why'd you-"
"I mean, he pretty much proved it last night." Tord says with a smirk. Tom throws the cucumber at his face.

"Fuck you,"
"Already hav—" Tom leans over and smacks him in the face.
"Well, that was something I did not need to know." Matt comments with a grimace at the slimy cucumber on the ground.

"Anyway, Edd, how about you?" Matt asks.
"Hmm..." Edd hums. "Oh! I have superpowers." He says with a smile.
"Great," Tom says emotionlessly, once again.

"Tom—"
"Shut up,"
"You didn't even let me speak!" Tord whines.
"Everything you say is stupid, what's the point of even listening?"
"Le gASP- hOw dare yOu, yOu bItCh-" Tord slaps Tom. Tom falls over and I'm just so fucking tired I have a test tmrw and this is what I'm doing?
"oh fuck-" Tord pokes Tom.

"I think I killed him."
well, fuck. I'm gonna fail my test.