TomTord/TordTom Oneshots and eddsworld art

i should really be working on a different oneshot-

shitpost where I turn off autocorrect and just type without thinking.

(Tordsie's POV)

I walk down the hallway to toms room where i heard moaning or some shit. i hesistantly knock on the jehovah's witness' door after hearing a..uh- loud moan from tom.
"heya lottle shit- the fuck you doing in there?" he doesnt answrt, so i open the door with no regrets.

this fucking idiot was humping a tree with a suit. the suit being on the tree of course. tom is basically only wearing boxers. this is the closest to smut that the author will get without actually writing smut--

"tOm wHat in tHe fUck aRe you dOing????"
"f-fucking david- what does it look like im doing?" he slurs.
"humping a tree, dipshit. whi the hell is david?"
"david? h-hes right here, are you b-blind??" he answers confusedly.

ohmygod. he named the tree, david. hes fucking shit-faced.
"tom, whyd you bring a tree--"
"david,"
"..right. whyd you bring david in the house? hes getting leaves everywhere."
"l-lEave dAvid aloNe!!1! its his shedding season!" tom says with a pout, still sitting on top of the goddamn tree.

"EDD, GeT tHe fUCK oVER HERE!" i yell for the green dude.
"yo rang?" edd suddenly materializes putta nowhere, startling me.
"toms fucking a tree." i explain to him.
"wHat?! that shiuld be you!" he says, stomping over to the idiot.

"yeaj it should..." i mumble to myself.
"tOm tHe fuCk yOu dOin??" edd shouts at him.
"whyy is ev'ryone asskin?? david looked smexy and so i brought him hime.." he looked asorably sad. oof poor child.
"look at you! youre covered in splinters! we haveto bring you to the hostpital now." edd plls tom off.
"nnoOOooOo!1!! david wasnt doonne!!!" tom screeches.

~tom- tomeskip cause i cant think shit~

we sat in the hospital, listening to the dotkr talk to the- now sober, tom.
"yeah, you have a lot of splinters." the doctor says to him, unsure.
"worth it," tom whispers. "ow,"

we drive back home with tom covered in bandages. i sit in the passenger seat and tom is in the back, lying- on his bacl.
"tom what the fuck?? i knew you were kinky, but this shit? this aint it." i say to him.
"sshut your fuck."

~timeskip to makin things really escalate~

"oi fucker- why are you so stupid? cant even confess to you without you being oblivious as fuck." i grumble to him. he whips his head around.
"gAsp?? you love me??" he says excitedly.
"no!- uh- yeah..." my face does that thing that makes you looks either stupid or cute. oh yeah, blish.

(3rd person)

mwah mwah kissy cutie- they do that shit. im so tired ughughugh- read that as hug or ugh, your choice.

they probably do the frickle-frackle i dont fucking know.

i have no regirts about writing this.

a/n:
wrong. i have so many regirts.