SHE

one

November 1st, 2018

Basically everyday morning she woke up and do things she always do. No one to greet too, no one to smile too, just basically nothing to fake too. Straight face and ready to start the daily day ahead. She took a look for last time in the mirror and think at least they didn't see it.

Walking down the hallway in the building in her university, every people knew her, greet her with smile and so she too. But, who is know what is going on inside every people head, right? No one. She didn't take interest in everyone in any other way, but she tried to show it in her face, in honor to respect.

People see she is the type that so easily to attached too. Like a blooming flower in the spring season, beautifully attract bee even butterfly around. Or like a magnet that pull you into her nice and kind personality.

But she think other wise. When she back at her home for her daily routine, first things she said, it's done. She back to herself, straight face in front of mirror, take of the make up and stare. "I'm good. I can handle it, I'm just gonna go with the flow". That's what she said every single day.

Have you ever feel like, you have a lot on your head, so much that it turn into nothing. Nothing at all. That is exacly what she feel everyday. The feeling that make she frustated and sick. Deep down in her head she want something but can't figure it out because things that's going on around her. Even her own head were messing with her. She feel useless and fucked up so bad. She feel failur around her and she feel she know nothing. She tried really hard to take that away but deep down she know it always there. she though nothing but everything at the same times.

Maybe she tried too hard that she didn't get what got into her. She know nothing about herself yet people already feel knew her well. How could she feel things towards others when she can't even feel for herself. Is that all things going on around? Find things in the other to make you feel....let's just say 'complete'?.....at least for now I'm.. she's good enough to numb it.

Well, to find something in commond, just listen to this song, once a while:

"I though my demon were almost defeated but you took their side and you pull them to freedom. They know my secret and won't let me go, won't let go. I though my demon were almost defeated but you took their side and you pull them to freedom. I keep your secrets and I though that you would do the same". –Demon by jacob lee—