Asunder

Chaper 19 - The Pool

Emma and I don't say anything during the short walk to her house. She doesn't mention my change of clothes, or the fact that I don't have a swimsuit with me. And I don't mention her maneuvering back in the kitchen.

I forgot about the swimsuit. All priorities shifted after that one sentence. What he said...

Don't wear skimpy things like that in the day... and lock your door at night if you're going to sleep naked.

I know he doesn't mean it in such an amoral way. I know he doesn't see me that way. But the fear... the fear doesn't know anything. It only knows what keeps me up at night. Even if I try to shake it, it crawls like spiders in my veins. And I can only hope that I find a way not to fall asleep tonight. So no, I didn't get a swimsuit. I put on jeans and a sweatshirt, despite the summer day's heat. Besides, I'm pretty sure the pool invitation was just to get me out of that kitchen.

It's as if the thought summons Emma's question. "Are you okay?"

She doesn't sound fussy or pushy. Her tone only carries a light concern and curiosity.

It's such a small inquiry. But it gets to be so complicated. Too complicated to answer.

So I only nod, glancing at her, and looking up from the pavement to the road in front of me. That might look a little less pathetic. "I'm fine. You're very perceptive."
"What?"
"You picked up on my nerves." I feel my toes kick against a rock on the road. It's skits a long way ahead. "And you came up with a pretty good excuse to leave."

She considers my words for a moment, then angles her foot to kick my rock over to her side. "Even a blind person would've seen your nerves." I swallow, slightly uncomfortable at that fact. "You just... tensed up. You went straight and stiff, and your eyes went all wide and jittery. You even looked pale. You look pale right now."

"Is that your house?" I point to a block on the other side of the street, aching to change the subject. Why did I ever bring it up? Why couldn't I leave it alone?

Emma answers only by crossing over towards the house. "Does he... hurt you?"

Her voice is surprisingly neutral. I'd expect it to have some undertone of horror or something. But instead, her intonation is calm and direct. I can't tell why it's so refreshing. So it's easy to answer:

"That's none of your business. And if he did, you'd probably know it."

"I do," she says under her breath, and I stop in my tracks as she hops up the wooden stairs to her door.

My heart drops slightly. I mentally fumble around for something to take away any suspicion. The last thing I need is to have her get any ideas. "It's not like that, it really isn't," I insist, but it comes out less convincing than desired.

She pushes the door open and walks in, looking over her shoulder at me. "Mind the second stair. It's unstable."

I look down at it, and then back at her, and then back at the step, as she disappears on the other side of a corner. I hop over the two first stairs, eyeing the loose stone.

I've crossed the threshold and closed the door when she calls to me: "Over here!"

I follow the sound of her voice to my right, not too curious to explore a new house. Either way, I call back: "Nice place."

"Thanks. My parents are out of town right now. They do that a lot, so I get it all to myself all the time."

I find her in a living room, sitting on a strangely shaped spinning chair. "It must be nice."
"I guess," she shrugs, looking around at the wide ceilings, "but it gets lonely."