Sky.
This is the third letter I've written to you. The second one was on Valentine's Day, and the first one was trash. I know you read it. I really wish I hadn't written it. You'd gone through enough pain already before what I tried to do to myself, the summer we met. But even then, you were here with me. And I could feel your heartbeat and you held me. I can't believe that heart isn't beating anymore.
Status update: it's midnight, and I feel so alone without you. But I find kernels of you everywhere. I find them in my bed, I find them in your garden, and in the mirror of the studio, staring back at me, telling me it's okay.
You're stupid. You're so, so stupid. For getting involved with drugs, with these gangs. You should have known better, all those years ago. But it was never your fault. And I forgive you. I'll always forgive you. And I'm sorry. And I love you.
I love you. I didn't say it enough, it doesn't feel like you heard it enough. I love you so much. And you will always be the love of my life.
I know you don't want that. But I don't know who else could make me feel like you did, like you still do. I don't know who else could make the sun rise from nothing, who could make magic without a single word. I don't know who else could ever change everything, just by walking in. If anyone ever tries to make me believe they can, I'll laugh. Because no, because you: you were everything. You are everything to me. You always will be. Sorry.
I don't know how I'll ever go to karaoke ever again, because God, did you suck. And I don't know how I'll ever drink hot chocolate, or listen to any of our songs, our see a single star. I have trouble looking at Kitty-Cat Tick-Tock at the studio. I almost wanted to give it back to Liston. But it's one of the only things I have from you. And I'll be damned if I lose any more of you, Sky.
Speaking of which, thanks for leaving me your extra-bass headphones. You were right. You were so right. Everything sounds better with extra-bass. Thanks for leaving me your shirts. I sleep with one every night. I don't want to ask why you updated your will after meeting me, or when. Why you even had a will at all. But thank you. Thank you.
You will always be with me, because you taught me how to want to live. So as long as I live, you are alive within me. And you are with me when I sing, when I laugh and when I cry, which is often recently. You are with me when I slow-dance in our studio, with the lights, holding my hands up like they're on your shoulders. You are with me because I love the rain, and I sometimes go out and stand in it all alone, between our houses, and I get a cold. And it's okay. It's all okay.
Sky. Sky. Midnight will always make me think of you.
The end.
YOU ARE READING
Asunder
Teen Fiction"Promise me. Promise me you'll never beg someone to stay when they're already gone." Tangled up a million knots, Kingsley has lost faith in happiness. Her heavy heart struggles to continue to beat, and she is slowing down. It seems to her that the w...
