Asunder

Chapter 45 - Unconditionally

The monochromatic keys lay under my fingers as I try and keep them from shaking.

Not from nerves, of course, but from anticipation. Excitement.

Excitement, because I can't wait for the boy sitting next to me to hear it. To feel what I've felt for him pretty much from the very beginning. To revel at how far we've come. How well we've healed ourselves thanks to each other's light.

I only begin to feel nervous once I begin the introduction, notes high and delicate, but not fragile. Twinkling, like distant stars. Seemingly small from so far, but booming with power.

And when I sing, I mean it from the core of my very bones.

Oh no, did I get too close?
Oh, did I almost see
What's really on the inside?

I see the times where he broke down, where he let the words slip from his battered heart:
It's my fault. It's my fault.
But I never ran away. Because I saw for him a future of hope, and love, and happiness. I wanted him to get there more than anything. And I knew, even when I wasn't happy myself, that I could make him smile.

All your insecurities
All the dirty laundry
Never made me blink one time

But accidentally, fatefully, making him smile made me smile. And making him laugh brought butterflies to my stomach. The good kind of butterflies. The stuff of a thousand love songs, the ones I never thought I'd have the chance to share. 
And I told him back then, in this very room.
Tell me why I would ever run from you?

Unconditional
Unconditionally
I will love you, unconditionally
There is no fear, no
Let go and just be free
I will love you unconditionally

From the very beginning, it was like freedom to be with him. But he wasn't an escape; he was both the road towards better, and the better itself, the light shining at the end of the tunnel.
But more than that: another soul. Another person. Infinite and vast; a person who happened to fit so perfectly with me, a person who happened to share so much of the pain that I did.

So come just as you are to me
Don't need apologies
Know that you are all worthy
I'll take your bad days with your good
Walk through the storm, I would
Do it all because I love you
I love you

We will forever weather every storm together, hand in hand. He is both the boat and a fellow sailor, terrified at the monstrous, destroying waves, as am I.
But we hold on tight. To each other. And we make it.

Unconditional
Unconditionally
I will love you, unconditionally
There is no fear, no
Let go and just be free
I will love you unconditionally

I see Sky wipe at his tears at the corner of my eyes. And I let my head tilt back at the ecstasy of music: of love. I let our story play like a film behind my eyes, glorious and pitiful, painful and joyous, ringing with golden strength.

And I smile.

So open up your heart and just let it begin
Open up your heart and just let it begin
Open up your heart and just let it begin
Open up your heart

And I slow, for the night where he told me anything.
Where there were no longer any secrets between us. There was the ugly. And the beautiful made more sense, as a shinier piece of a whole. But the whole is who I love. All of him.

Acceptance is the only key
To be truly free
Will you do the same for me?

And do I even need to ask the question? I knew the answer from the start. That there was nothing to hide. Nothing to be ashamed of. That nothing about me could not be loved.

Nothing. When I was with him. When I'm with him.

So I sing it out to the world, like screaming from a rooftop, and I want to tell everyone. Everyone.

I want everyone to know the treasure I've found, I want everyone to see me smile, in love.

Unconditional
Unconditionally
I will love you, unconditionally

No matter what. There is no reason why, really. Just because we are. No matter what—

There is no fear, no
Let go and just be free
I will love you unconditionally

Unconditionally.

Once the magic has faded into a light twinkle in the dark air, I turn to Sky, to the tearful smile on his beautiful face, soul shining forth for me to see clearly.

"Happy birthday," I whisper.