Jackie & Hyde

Part 5

Jackie is walking to Foreman's basement door, stopping at the last stair. Her heart is pounding and her mind is reeling from everything that's happened in the last couple of days. Memories flush her mind, memories of Steven. She's reaching for the doorknob, her small hands shaking. A fear is seeping through her bones. Taking a deep breath, she opens the door. 

    Hyde is sitting in his usual spot, his eyes darting toward the door as Jackie enters the room. She looks beautiful, he thinks. His heart is shaking within his ribcage as if it were begging his body to let it lose, to let it go. Hyde swallows in a deep breath, his palms sweaty- his knees weak and shaky.

"Hey..." Hyde whispers, their gazes locking. Jackie nods, walking toward the center of the room, not sure where to go or where to sit, whether to sit at all. 

"So..." Jackie awkwardly paces around the front of the couch, sitting down. "Hi."

Hyde looks toward the floor, not wanting to look her in the eyes just yet, "What are you doing here?" He's nervous, afraid, unsure.

   The air feels thick with tension and unspoken nerves. It's as if they were both waiting for the end to begin, afraid to start it, afraid to end it.

    Jackie closes her eyes briefly, flickering them open, trying to find some sort of inner courage. What will he say? She wonders. Will it hurt? Of course, it will. 

"We should talk..." She says.

"Sure."

"So.."

   He can feel himself twitching, the uneasy energy travelling throughout him. Especially when she looks up toward him, when their eyes catch one another. He hates it.

"What?" He's pressing her. "What did you want to talk about?"

Say it, Jackie. Say it.

"Should I get my pedicure tomorrow or Friday?" She's blurting in an internal frenzy, mentally hitting herself for panicking. For not saying the words she really came to say.

His features crunch up, "What? Why would I care-"

"Because you used to, remember!" Jackie's cheeks are red now. "Whatever. I need to know for my appointment. I still haven't found my car keys, just my purse. I need a ride. So take me."

He's glaring once again, brows furrowing. "Jackie, I'm not your driver. You don't just demand me-"

She's tossing her hair back, "Fine."

   Hyde's sighing, allowing the now rosing of his cheeks to disapate as a surge of hope is sparking within him. A disgusting, lame, weak excuse of a man- hope. All because of her red cheeks, nervous fidgeting and yapping.

"Alright." Hyde is deciding within himself to rip the band-aid. "I'm going to say some crap, so listen. Got it?"

   He's shifting in his seat, trying to look cool although his heart is racing and his cheeks are still pouring in with blood.

    Jackies eyes are widening, confused but agreeing with a nod. Hyde turns in his chair slightly so his entire body can face her. He meets her gaze for longer than usual. Hyde reaches for his glasses, his fingers trembling slightly. He closes his eyes, breathing in and he removes his shades. Opening his eyes to a flushed and confused Jackie Burkhart. Her mouth falls open slightly, Steven. 

"This is going to be hard for me to say but I want you to know," Hyde is struggling to piece his words together, "Just know I mean it."

  He wants to reach for her hands to hold them but he doesn't. Instead, he rubs his palms against his chin.

"What?"

Hyde's jaw clenches, his brow furrowing. "Just listen." Jackie nods, biting her lower lip. He continues, "Jackie, I-I, um- I "

"What!" Jackie interrupts.

He grunts, waving his hands at her. "I SAID-"

"Yeah well you need to hurry up!" She's saying, raising a brow. "Steven, you know I'm impatient so I'm going to need you to just spit it out-"

"I love you!" He's shouting in impatience. The heaviness of his words makes them both blush, he's feeling a wave of embarrassment at his vulnerability. "I never... I never stopped loving you."

      Jackie feels as if her bones are melting like she can no longer hold herself up. She's trying to mouth words but her voice isn't following. A spark flickering within the echo of her heart. Her silence is killing him in ways he didn't know were possible. The wave of embarrassment, of disgust over his own feelings is punching him in the face.

Hyde's pressing on, "Anyway. I know you don't care anymore." The words hurting himself, his stoic composure breaking, "I tried to let you go so you could be happy, cause of Chicago, because of Sam. Cause guys like me don't deserve...anyways, you're with Fez. But, I didn't stop..you know. I thought you should know before I leave-"

"You're leaving!" Jackie blurts, her pulse accelerating. Her breathing uneven, her voice raspy. "Where?"

  The entire conversation has her feeling upside down, as if she just ran through a marathon. Her mind, her heart-still reeling from his declaration.

Hyde sighs, almost in relief at her question. "Um, New York? California? I don't know. "

Jackie's mind is wobbling through her emotions, anger- anger- anger is flashing at her in red lights. How could he-

"How could you just!-" She's exclaiming, rising to her feet, moving her hands over her head angrily. "This is crap!"

    Hurt is overwhelming Hyde, one he had been expecting but one he didn't want. She's rejecting him, of course.

"Yup." He takes her anger in, he resigns himself. "I won't say it to you again, alright?" His voice cracking, "I just needed to say it-I didn't expect you take me back, or love me-"

"Steven!" She snaps. Jackie's eyes are filling with tears, a mixture of emotions drowning her entirely. "You're not leaving. You can't just leave after-"Her voice cracking.

His heart, his ears perking up, "What?" He's barely mustering.

"I didn't stop, okay?" Jackie lets out, her body shaking. "I thought I did-" Tears are threatening to break through, "So you can't leave, if you do- I will kick you!"

   A smile breaks through Hyde's face, a pained one, a relieved one and he rushes over to Jackie. Barely standing in front of her, unsure of how to touch her, of whether he can but he reaches out anyway. He's clutching onto her small figure, taking her in as if he were ready to drown in her warmth. His heart seemingly dances within his chest, happily. All he knows is she feels damn good, and she's clutching on to him. She's grasping pieces of his shirt, burying her face in him.

"Steven," Jackie mutters into his shirt, taking in his scent. 

"I'm sorry." Hyde's says in complete vulnerability, squeezing her tighter. "I'm no good for you." He wants to be able to let her go.

Jackie's heart cracks, "No, no, no." She looks up to catch his sad blue eyes, "You're great, and don't I deserve a great guy?" 

Hyde nods, leaning his head against hers. "I am the greatest."

She smiles, her heart beating fast. "Steven, I love you too."

    He leans down, grazing his lips on hers. He breathes her in, afraid of this moment. Jackie moves her hands around his neck and pulling him closer. Their lips crashing on to one another, melting.