Truth or Dare? // c.b (✔︎)

[15] regrets and heartaches.

ARIANA'S POV

w o r d s: 2576

p a g e s: 9

"hope I'm not tired of rebuilding. 'cause this might take a little more. I think I'd like to try. look at you. and feel the way I did before"

After Colby found me and Brennen, I couldn't even look at myself. I couldn't even look at Brennen or even answer him when he tries to talk or text me. I hate myself so much. The way that he looked at me I knew I broke him in billions of pieces. My baby boy. My fucking everything. My goddamn soulmate. I told Kat and Devyn right away, they hated me at first but they came around in the end. I didn't tell the guys though I didn't want them to look at me differently.

I was sitting on the floor of my living room writing a song well trying too. It's hard to concentrate when your heart is breaking. And when your mind wonders to Colby every five seconds. And your mind wonders to Brennen... It sucks. I sigh shutting my laptop and setting down my acoustic and stretched. This house is becoming toxic to me and my mental health so I decided to see a movie to decompress. I put on my sneakers and grab my keys, bag, and phone and headed to the theater. I have no idea what movies are out but that's the exciting part just finding something new. I absolutely love doing these types of things once in a while.

I got to the theater and typed what movies are playing. I picked one and got my ticket and my popcorn and Dr. Pepper. I found a seat in the theater and watched the credits. (The best part of the movies in my opinion). I went on my phone until the movie started. The worst thing after the movie is you can't discuss what happens afterwards. I get comfortable in my chair and the movie began to start. The overpriced popcorn tastes so fucking good so does the overly syrupy soda.

After the movie, I drove home to finish my song called Regrets. I finally figured out the name like at this moment. I turned up the radio and sing to mostly every song. I drank my left-over soda while driving back home. Never pass up a soda from the theater. That was from my mother. She always told me never let anything go to waste. Including partners. I get home and immediately get back to work. The more I think about yesterday the more I can't stay at my house. I can't sleep in my bed because all I can think about is Brennen's lips on mine. His chiseled body on top of mine. His lips dragging on my inner thighs. His breath on my neck. I bit my lip but immediately shook away the thought. "Fuck" I stated going on my laptop and book a ticket to Chicago. I can't stay here any longer.

I tweet saying I am going back to my hometown and I'll be off of social media for a while because of the situation. I know that they (my fans weirdly enough that I have some) will understand. I stretch from my position and began to pack. I mean I still have clothes at the house and some makeup. So, I can pack light and just pack a carry on. I debate rather to text Brennen or Cole that I'm going home. But I decided to text Kat and Devyn asking if they can drive me to the airport. They tell me that they would. I told them about what happen over skype. They mostly hated the guys and not me because they understand how much I love Cole. I mean I love Brennen too but not in that way. I love Brennen as a friend. I don't want to ruin that... we almost did. I sigh flopping on my bed looking at the signed Lorde poster on my ceiling. I hate feeling like this. I remember the words that Brennen said to me. I remember everything. It's like a movie every time I walk in this room. It always stops when Colby is about to enter my room. Sometimes I play different scenarios. What would happen if Colby hadn't shown up? Would I really let Bren go down on me? Would I stop it? Would he stop? Would something change between us? Would something change in Cole and I's relationship?

X

Today was the day that I'm going home. I sigh rubbing my eyes and reached my phone to shut off my alarm. I text my girls to wake up and meet me at my house in fifteen. I got my suitcase and my carry on and put them near my door. I put on a hoodie (which was Colby's), leggings and put my hair up lazily on my head and put on mascara. I did not want to beat my face into full glam. I waited for the girls to pick me up. I put on my shoes and jacket and just sat on the couch just fiddling my thumbs waiting for them. My phone buzzed.