[29] feeling more awful.

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KAT'S POV

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p a g e s: 4

I watch Ana's video and she looked absolutely shattered. I can't believe we did this to her. Sam looks at me. "What?" I asked. "I feel like shit, absolute shit" he says putting his head in his hands. "I know, I do too" I rub his back. I think he was more torn up about this than anybody. I think he actually loved Ariana, platonically of course. I think all of us loved her at some point. I think Colby actually loved and still loves her. I don't think he'll ever stop loving her. Aurora knows it too. She's warming up to us now. "Why did we do this? Again?" he looks at me, red eyed. "I don't know, Sam" I say. "I don't want to do this anymore, not after her" Sam says. "We won't, trust me" I agreed. "Good, did you see how hurt Ariana was? God" he brushed his hands through his blond hair. "Yeah, I did she's falling apart Sam" I say now crying. "I hope she reaches out to us soon" Sam says. "She will, hopefully" I tell him even though I know Ari and she won't contact us, anymore. It breaks my heart but I think its for the best.

X
I was hanging out with the girls just talking. Somehow, we talked about Ariana. We talked about her video. We all feel so bad. We tried to contact her but she won't answer any of our messages. "Maybe we need to lay off of her" Tar says. "I agree" Devyn says. Tori nods. "How long?" I asked sipping my latte. "As long as she needs" Devyn said. "Yeah, okay how's Colby?" Tara asked Aurora. "He's pretty beaten up; I know she was his real love besides the circumstances" Aurora tells us. "How are you feeling?" I asked her. "I'm okay, I mean I talk to her some times she doesn't hate us by the way" she tells us. "She talks to you?" Devyn asked. "Yeah, we've been friends since like forever it's kind of hard to forget someone like that" she sighs. We all nod, understanding. It is hard to forget a whole person. "I'm okay that she's talking to ONE of us" Tara says stirring her straw. "Me too, it makes my anxiety at ease just a little" I say. "Me too" Tori says shaking her head.

We finished our Starbucks and went to the mall just to walk around and look at shops. If we liked something, we get it. My mind wanders to Sam, recently he hasn't been Sam. He's depressed. Ever since he posted the video. They've been getting so much hate recently. Us girls included. We've came custom to it, horrible as that sounds. We haven't been on social media since then. It's been good for all of us. Sometimes, social media can be super duper toxic. No, scratch that ALL of the time it's toxic.

I drive home and dropped my shit at the door. I walked to my room to charge my phone since it was dead. I flopped on the bed and waited for my phone to resurrect. It was fun to hang out with all the girls without our boys and without Ariana. My phone buzzed indicating that my phone is resurrected. I looked at my phone to see Ariana trying to contact me.

Ariana: Hey, Kat! Can we talk?

Me: Hey Ari! Of course, we can... I hope you don't hate me.

Ariana: I don't hate you; I want to know why you did what you did...

Me: We did it out of boredom, it doesn't make it right at all I know that.

Ariana: Who's idea was it?

Me: Colby's...

Ariana: What? why?

Me: He always plays these games, it changed when he actually fell in love with you.

Ariana: how many girls?

Me: What?

Ariana: How many girls have you guys played?

Me: I don't know...

Ariana: Oh...

Me: I'm so sorry, Ari truly.

Ariana: I know, I don't hate you girls.

Me: Really?

Ariana: Yeah, it wasn't your fault it was Cole's.

Me: Do you still... love him?

Ariana: I always will, even though he didn't.

Me: I don't know about that, Ari.

Ariana: What do you mean?

Me: In the beginning he didn't, but in the middle and the end he did.

Ariana: Oh well I don't know what to believe.

Me: Talk to him about it...

Ariana: I will, thank you Kat for everything.

Me: You're welcome babe I'm so sorry we did this to you.

Ariana: It's okay <3

I sighed placing my phone down. I hope that Colby and Ariana make up. I want her to be happy and satisfied. I'm glad that she doesn't hate me and the rest of us girls. She doesn't like the guys which is understanding. I text Sam saying Ariana texted me and she's okay and doesn't hate me but she doesn't like the boys. He understood, even though I know he's hurt still. I can just tell by the way he texts. We text about Colby and Ariana which seems like the conversation we all have. Sam wants Colby to be absolutely happy with a person who he absolutely loves. I know he likes Aurora. I know for a fact he loves Ariana still. We all know. Aurora is oblivious to it, she's in love with him. She glows every time she talks about him and sees him. It's so cute actually. They are cute together. She's warming up to me at least.

I just hope Ariana and Colby talk shit out and rekindle the relationship even if Aurora doesn't know. That's awful for me to say but I love both of them very much and I need them together. I still feel horrible for not telling my best friend about everything. I wish I could go back and tell her everything when we first met her all those years ago. I wish I could go back and tell all those girls we fucked up their lives all those years ago.

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