Diaphragm

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Tendrils of tobacco smoke streamed out the half open window of the driver's side. This lean young lady saturated the air around her with lazy rings, in between song lyrics. A bit of venting was in order before the usual grind. She was the type to get there early only to sit in the car fussing. Her chosen parking was one of the farthest in the lot. 

Back in the day she shared this spot with two other stoners she'd known a few years. That's all they were now. Homies, fam even... they used to act like, then they stopped. She thought about them lots, along with others recently gone from her life. It was obvious how idle her mind had become in the advent of disasters which led here. Sometimes she tried sketching. Other times she read. But lately she would attempt to sing along the feeble voices blasting off her broken old phone.  

She was alone now. Not quite. Too far to converse, yet close enough to observe, peculiar guy parked. His windows were tinted as fuck, a pity to find herself outside them. She was a sucker for long haired punks. It had taken her a while to fully notice his charm, on edge as she was. Didn't know his name, but she wanted to. Seems a simple enough quest to undertake. Yes, they worked in the same building. They saw each other every day. Sometimes he held her door  between bathroom breaks... Coy glances? Sure. She smiled bright at him when her face wasn't frozen stiff by the cold ass cubicle maze. Eventually he would smile back.  At some point their outfits appeared to begin matching. If only she could manage to say something to him, anything. She wasn't much of a talker, but this getting shy over a dude was so high school. It was a daily shock to catch herself doing dumb shit like tripping or mindlessly dropping things around this man she didn't really know. 

None of this mattered anywhere other than her own mind. After silently pining lost it's fancy, she had looked him up on social media. The awkward online intrigue mostly consisted of her one sided interactions on his posts. He had accepted her friend request, lurked a few days, and wordlessly deleted her afterward. Shortly revealing his interest in a different girl entirely. In the end she'd achieved nothing besides exposing her own little heart, with a side of encouraging this unattainable man to taunt her throughout the work week. Seemed to derive some pleasure from seeing her squirm. She knew his name now, but would refer to him as work jerk, and do her best to exclude him from any future fantasizing.

From today onward she would park facing away from all these sentimental silences they'd shared. How hard could it be to keep going, without ever turning around?




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