Rodrick x Fregley

Untitled Part 6

As I dashed down the stairs, I ran smack dab into my future mother in law, Susan Heffley. "Hi, Susan, how are you on this fine eve?"

"Fregley! I thought I told you never to come back," she exclaimed.

"I know, mama, and usually I'm a man of my word, but something horrific has happened!" I grabbed her shirt and pulled her in close. I very mostly whispered in her ear, "I think Rodrick is a werewolf!"

"Yeah, whatever kid. Get out of  my house!"

Susan's POV

The house a wreck! And one of the doors was falling off. Frank and I were doing couples' aquatic aerobics at the gym, and came back to this mess! I saw Manny cowering in the dryer. Unfortunately, I only noticed this after I started it, so sadly, he suffered some minor burns, but nothing too serious. 

The worst thing I saw was my son Rodrick exploiting some poor blonde hussy. What a little minx! "Rodrick, get off of her and apologize!" I screamed. Rodrick said a no no word very loudly, and the blonde dashed away, forgetting her underwear. "I'm going to kill you, mister!" I screamed. "Just wait til I'm done with you!"

"You could've waited til I was done with Heather first," he muttered under his breath. My rage boiled. 

"Young, man, you're going to write an apology!" I told him. 

Rodrick's POV

An open letter to the hot blonde chick i was going down on Friday night:

Dear girl whose name I have forgotten due to a large consumption of alcohol,

You were nice, I guess. You know, I didn't cum more than once, but it's okay. I apologize for keeping you out late, and encouraging the consumption of alcohol. I probably should've remembered your name and cherished you for the goddess that you are. All women are powerful and captains of their own steamboats. I'm sorry, blonde yet powerful woman. Je taime.  Je suis desole. 

Kisses,

Rodrick.

P.S. I'm sorry women. 

I can't believe my mom walked in on me like that! I am beyond mortified, and have been banished to the basement. Talk about cramping my style! I turned on some Black Sabbath and cried. I didn't even like that girl that much. I'm just annoyed because I don't feel a connection with anyone. At least, not any girls. But punk rockers can't be gay ;( It would ruin the reputation of my boy band, as I have thousands of groupies counting on me to fuck them. It's hard being famous. 

All of a sudden, my thoughts were diverted to my weird neighbor, Fregley. I'm pretty sure his family's in a cult. His  dad wears a bonnet and his grandma comes to visit them in a carriage dragged by a goat. They churn butter for a local supermarket, and have these weird folk dances in our public park. That kid is seriously messed up, but I feel that it's more his family's fault than his. I don't understand why they pity him. I don't feel anything. Yet here I am. 

Perhaps there is a slight sexual connection.