A Heart of Gold

Chapter 3

"I chose your class to participate in this, Lynn, because I know you will handle any nonsense that it may bring." I nod. "But please remember, we need to care for and protect them like-"

"-like they are our very own," I finish her sentence. "I know, Jane. Of course."

"I know that you know. But this is just a little out of our comfort zone. It's unusual for us to open ourselves up like this, and I have to be sure I am looking at it from all angles."

I don't need a reminder. My kids are all I think about.

My kids and, well... Harry.

But if I could stand before them, in front of this massive lion that is their life, and shield them from the terrible roar that engulfs them in fear, grief and sadness, I would. I'd hold my arms straight out to protect them, letting that roar blow my hair straight back and the pain fill every pore on my skin. In a heartbeat.

But they do it by themselves. Every fucking day.

It's late fall and we've finally settled into a nice routine. We are starting to gel as a class. My kids know what I stand for and expectations, for the most part, are being followed. They are learning what I will and will not do for them- it's a delicate dance between caring and enabling.

I am learning them. Their histories and tangled backstories, their issues and hot buttons, their current and ever-changing needs.

And they are learning to understanding each other, to show compassion and to think outside of themselves. A big task for 9 year-olds who are almost always in crisis.

*

It has been a long day. Like a kid on Christmas Eve, I am bursting with anticipation and can't wait to tell my kiddos the news.

I'm excited to tell Lina today, too, when I pick her up from school. I think of her now because I can see her fingerprints all over my classroom. That girl will do just about anything for a frothy smoothie. She helps me over the summer to clean and set up my classroom, leaving love notes in my desk drawers for me to find later. She comes in on her days off and around her exam schedule to be an extra pair of hands for a field trip or on a craft day. Sometimes she comes just to sit and read with the kids. Every year my kids know and love her.

I'm working with Sebastian now at the back table, on multiplying fractions for the millionth time, and I see Sofia and Victor approaching from the corner of my eye. This usually means a group tattle is coming, so I point to the sign behind me. The one that says:

"Interrupt for Emergencies Only.

Emergencies: Puke, Blood or Fire."

A Post It hangs off the bottom of the frame that reads, "Or if Harry Styles Walks into the Room" in pink marker. Courtesy of Lina. Sassy girl.

I pause dramatically, looking up with one finger and one eyebrow raised. They stop and mumble back to me the recitation, "... puke, blood or fire..." With rolling eyes and a quiet curse, they slink and stomp away to solve the problem themselves.

"Or if Harry Styles walks into the room." I finish silently.

*

Sitting on the carpet together at the end of the day, I finally hit them with the news. Their reactions to my announcement of Harry Styles using them in his music video are varied, to say the least.

"Who?"

"He's old, but kinda hot."

"Why us? Don't he want rich Hollywood kids?"