A Heart of Gold

Chapter 16

Muscles stretched. Laces tight. Earbuds in. Deep breath.

It's a new day. Maybe a good long run through my old neighborhood will help to glue me back together after the storm of emotions that battered me yesterday.

But when the first happy notes of "Kiss You" bop through the phone cord and into my ears, I pause. I stand up straight and look around me, squinting, as if trying to see through a thick fog. I try to drag the thought that escapes me out from the dark cloud that is passing overhead. And then, slowly, I feel it creep back. I cringe when the image of that long black camera lens crawls back in my consciousness. And the vision of Harry unnerved, nostrils twitching in anger, makes my stomach lurch.

I can't believe I forgot about it. Why hasn't Harry told me? Is our picture all over the internet and are people saying horrible things? About him? About me?

Is it really awful? He knows that this weekend is an emotional one for me, has he not told me so as to protect me from the trash? We didn't talk last night, I just didn't have any energy after Brigit left and my parents and I had a good cry. In fact, I haven't even looked at my phone since I got here. Now I feel terrible that he's dealing with this by himself.

When I open my phone, a dozen messages load from Harry. I have to put my fingers to my lips to control the smile that blooms there as I read them, standing in the middle of the sidewalk, everything from sweet and encouraging words to corny jokes to his steamy thoughts and wishes. I feel some sunshine trying to push through my veins.

And now, I don't want to, but I have to.

I open Instagram. Scroll.

I open Twitter. Scroll.

Nothing.

What?

I call him, and he answers on the first ring. "Heeeey, love." he croons softly. "How's my sweet girl, things ok?"

I don't even know how to respond, that's how not ok things are.

He must hear my thoughts in my silence. "It's ok, Lynn, you don't have to tell me everything now. 'M just happy you called." His voice is light and it makes me breathe easier.

"Oh, Harry." I sigh. "My family is just a big, sad mess."

"I'll be ready for it all with a ginger peach tea. Or maybe Chardonnay?" My heart pings. "Maybe both." I can just see his easy smile break across his face and I feel my shoulders drop from their heightened position in response.

"Thanks, H, you're the sweetest. I miss you."

"I miss you too, love."

"So... I have to ask, but I'm afraid to." I tense again. "I've been unplugged since we got here but I just checked my phone- weren't there any photos from the other day at the playground, from that guy hiding in the woods?"

"Baby, I don't want you to think about that now. There is nothing to worry about. Truly. Nothing came of it."

"You're kidding?"

"Nope, now don't give it another thought. I expected it to be all over, too, dunno why, perhaps he was too far away?" We both exhale. "I just don't want to bring all of that on you now."

I've been slowly pacing the sidewalk in front of my parents' house, absently dragging my fingers over the rough bark of the big tree on each pass.

"So how are you?" I ask quietly.

"Good, I'm good." He chirps and I feel the energy around me lighten. "Worked with the guys in the studio some more, almost ready to release Kiwi."