Just Revenge

Chapter Twenty: Act Four Scene Two

"Abbi!" I whispered shouted as I ran back from the stage left exit. "Abbi!"

My heart was racing, I could feel my stomach in my throat, and I couldn't tell if it was butterflies in my stomach or nausea, but I still couldn't find my best friend. Finally, I spotted her lounging on the grass with Lis and a couple of her actor friends.

"Abbi! Lis! I'm so terrified right now. Help!" My voice was basically a squeak as the words all rushed out at once.

"What happened?" Abbi seemed confused.

"Nothing yet. I just came offstage from 3.7" I explained.

"And..." Abbi didn't seem to understand yet.

"Act Four starts in like two minutes. I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Shit. Act Four's starting? I gotta be in places." Abbi stood up and rushed off to places for Act Four Scene One.

"Lis, we're doing full physicality today. I have to kiss Max in like ten minutes on a stage in front of Marie and Miranda and whoever else might decide they need to pee at that precise minute. I'm so not ready."

"Car, relax. It's just a stage kiss. It's not even real, okay? Don't freak."

"It's a little late for that. I mean, how does this even work? Am I supposed to do something with my lips or do I just kinda stick them there? It's not a real kiss, so I don't actually kiss him, although Lord knows I don't know how to do that either." I rambled on.

"It's a stage kiss. It works just like a kiss on the cheek or forehead would. You just kiss him and then move on. You've rehearsed this scene a hundred times, just run your blocking and don't drop a line and you'll be fine. The kiss is like a tiny, tiny part of the larger scene. Besides," she lowered her voice so only I could hear her, "if the plan was to steal him from Harper, did you really think you'd never have to kiss him?"

I sighed, "No. But theoretically, if I had to kiss him for the show anyway, it didn't seem much worse to do it for real. Now that we're closer to actually doing one of them, let's just say I'm getting a new perspective." My nerves were through as sarcasm and Lis knew it.

"Hey Carmen," Ror's head peaked out of the upstage left wing, "Max is back here already, I think 4.1 just started."

"Right." I stood back up and straightened my skirt and blazer. "It'll be fine. First kiss who?" I muttered to myself.

Lis smiled, "Just stick to your blocking and don't let the nerves blank out your lines. You'll be fine."

I nodded at her and headed backstage. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. I'm sixteen and sixteen-year-olds kiss each other all the time. It'll be fine, totally fine. Panic who? We don't know her.

Stepping backstage, I tried my best to focus on the click of my heels on the concrete and not on the overly loud pounding in my chest. Not gonna lie, it wasn't working. Especially when I caught sight of Max who smirked at my obvious nerves.

"Come on, it'll be fun." He promised.

"Why do I doubt that?" I countered.

"Cuz you're pessimistic. Just remember your lines and have fun with it, the rest'll just come naturally."

I took a deep breath, "I hope so."

His smirk faded into a softer smile, "Just trust me." He reached his hand out and I placed my own in it, locking our fingers together as we listened to the last line of 4.1.

"Ready?" We heard the running crew rush onstage to change the scenery, "5...4...3...2...1..." He grabbed the door and opened it, leading me onstage. I forced my body to relax, I wasn't Carmen Ashby up here and I certainly wasn't nervous. I was Goneril, I was confident, I was a princess, and I was very much in charge. Pulling him forward, I leaned into him and delivered my first line, my fingers brushing his arm flirtily. This scene was supposed to be my character trying to jump his character because my husband wasn't home, except we get interrupted and I end up just making my move in a goodbye kiss, so we had a little flirting before the kiss part.

I leaned closer to him and gazed into his eyes, his arm resting on my waist as we pretended to lose ourselves in each other to let Cort's character enter from the other side. I'd run this enough that I could be comfortable with this part.

"Ahem." Cort cleared his throat to interrupt us and we jumped apart.

"Oswald, where's your master?" I could feel the time each by as we got closer and closer to what was quickly becoming The Moment.

Cort's line went much quicker than it usually does and before I knew it, it was my line. The first half of it was straight forward, I laid out my evil plan and ordered everyone around. Then I paused, it was time for our goodbye.

I turned to Max and took a step forward, reaching out to grasp his arm. I stepped closer and closer, closing the gap between us and I spoke. "Wear this, spare speech." I raised my hand to silence his character's interruption. "This kiss, if it durst speak, would serve to stretch thy spirits into the air." I paused for just a second to steel myself before I leaned upwards. He didn't lean down, just like we blocked it, so I had to stretch onto my tiptoes to meet his lips. One hand rested gently on his chest, the other still grasped his arm. I didn't plan it, but at some point, my eyes closed. I don't know when, but when my lips met his, they shut lightly as I pressed our lips together. I only held the kiss for a second and then went to pull back like we'd blocked it, but his hands went to my waist and he held me there for another second. He didn't deepen the kiss. It was still gentle and light, but he held it for just a couple seconds longer, before he released me and I pulled back.

"Conceive and fair thee well" My voice was barely a whisper and I was sure that I'd get a note to project later, but I couldn't find the breath to do it.

Max stepped back and executed his little mock bow, "Yours in the ranks of death"

I've never understood why people found Shakespeare romantic, but in that moment, I got it. I don't know why, but my brain picked that precise moment to understand the beauty of Shakespeare and the smile that lit up my face was not the practiced one that I'd used throughout rehearsals. I might lie to myself about it later, but in that moment, I knew it one hundred percent real.

A/N

This is my favorite chapter, so far at least, but maybe of the whole thing. It's definetly the most real chapter I've written so far and I had to dig deep and find real emotions to write it, which I wasn't aware I was capable of, but aparently I am. Hope you enjoyed it!