i wanna end me. [ paused ]

two

he just pulled me with him...

Why didn't I scream? Why didn't I run away or at least try it? Why was I flattered to be pulled by an attractive boy like him? I didn't even know where he was pulling me or what to expect. I felt some fear deep inside of me and my right wrist ached as the young man grabbed my wrist rather firmly.

When we were back in the alley, he cursed again. "He's not there anymore," he turned to me, "that's your fault!" "I'm sorry," I mumbled. He looked around and then looked down at me. I still did not really recognize him. He was skinny, tall and his hair was slightly curly. "I'm sorry, is that it?", He took a step closer, "Would not you have been here now I would have my money." Nervously, I bit my lower lip and swallowed. "What did you see?", He came even closer, so that I leaned against the brick wall. His hands were pressed against the wall beside my head.

"a-are you a murderer?" It came out of me. "Me?" He grinned slightly. "You were on TV," I mumbled. "I play fair, I do not get what I should get and earn, the people who can't do this favor to me, just pure punishment," he cocked his head, "until blood flows." I swallowed hardly and nodded slowly while looking at the unknown right in front from me.

"What did you see, little kid", he said again. "Riley, not little kid," I raised my head slightly. "All right, Riley, what did you see," he repeated a little more correctly. "Nothing important," I replied. "Define 'nothing important'", he mumbled. I could literally feel his breath on my skin. "You and a man," I answered meekly. He sighed and took a strand of hair from me: "Oh yes ... then the police will not know about it?" I shook my head slowly and looked at the floor. He takes a step back. I looked up again and pressed my lips together. "We're watching you", he threatened. I frowned and nodded. He nodded and reached for my wrist again. It was a little red and blue. His grip was strong, as I said. When he saw the "wound", he just grinned and looked at my face. "See you Riley," he released my hand and turned to leave. Shocked, I stayed against the wall and dropped the bag of food.

A sigh escaped me and loosened me up a bit. My knees were still soft and felt like jello.

My conscience would kill me.

That was my first thought.

-

At home I put the shopping bag on the kitchen counter as if nothing had happened. "I'm back!", I shouted and threw myself on the couch, after I reached for the remote control. I heard the front door open and close and my mother was already standing in the door: "I can't do this anymore." I raised an eyebrow and looked to her. She sighed and put her bag on the chair next to me. "Today I was in the children's ward .. that was awful," she began, closing her eyes as she lowered herself onto the floor. "Cool," I said curtly and turned on the television.

My mother was a nurse for a few years. Every day after work, she sat down and told me about the sick people there. She was always exhausted after work, but still she was happy when she got home to have someone to talk to.

"And how was your day," she lay down on the couch and sighed, "Anything exciting happened?" I thought of the boy, but I shook my head. "Did you see that in the news today?", She pulled out her cell phone, "That with the killer." "He is not a murderer", my answer was thoughtless and I regretted it as soon as I spoke it out. "Excuse me?", She sat up. "So he .. he doesn't have to be a murderer maybe...he only beat the man", I mumbled but my mother interrupted me. "He would have killed him had if he'd had more time," she said slowly, shaking her head, "why don't you wear your chill clothes?" "I had to go to the supermarket", I looked back to the TV. "Riley, are you serious?", She stared at me, I noticed as I looked at her. "Dad needed help," I shrugged and frowned. he gets up and walks away, probably to the garage to confront my dad. I rolled my eyes, stood up and went to my room.

My room was, next to the living room, my sanctuary. It was not really comfortable, as it was almost always disorderly and my window constantly made sure that it was freezing cold. After I changed my clothes, I sat on my bed and grabbed my laptop. I opened it and checked my mails. Actually, I never got mails, never, really. But this time I got two. Two mails from "unknown". I swallowed hardly and clicked on the envelope icon.

unknown
> well, you went home immediately.
> As I said, you are being watched.

The boy from earlier.

riley
> How did you find out my email, "****** unknown.com"?

unknown
> I have my contacts.
> You know who I am huh?

riley
> well, I don't know your name.
> what do you want from me?

unknown
> only that you shut up.

riley
> I do

unknown
> Really?

riley
> promise

unknown
> see you later riley

riley
> What? Why?

unknown
> You dropped your ID card.

SHIT. Now he had all my data. Well, almost all. But since he had his "contacts", he would probably soon know more about me than me about myself.

unknown
> Good night, riley

riley
> good night stalker.

I closed my laptop and turned off the light of my night lamp. I sighed, looked around again and tried to fall asleep slowly.