𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙻𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜

𝚃 𝙷 𝙸 𝚁 𝚃 𝚈 • 𝙾 𝙽 𝙴

𝙌𝙪𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙮 𝙋𝙤𝙫

𝙼𝚊𝚢 𝟸𝟻, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟸

"Heyy boo." Her voice sounded in my ears as I felt her arms close in around my shoulders.

"What you doin?"

I shrugged.

"Reading." I tried to focus on the book in my hand but her touch made it difficult for me.

The words on the pages seemed to blur as she kept talking and feeling all over me. I sighed and closed the book together knowing what was about to go down if all this physical touching kept happening.

I know this because it never fails.

We fuck, we argue, we repeat.

Some people might ask why I continue stay with her but I couldn't answer that even If I wanted to. Don't get me wrong... the sex is good, I'm just not invested in this the way that I should be.

We all know why that is.

I just can't seem to end this 'situationship' and move on to what I really want. More like who I really want.

I sometimes feel embarrassed to still be thinking about her and the possibility of us after all this time but I just can't help myself. I know I should just let it go but I just cant seem to do it. The voice in my head speaks us into existence every single second of every single day, it's hard not to think of her.

"What you readin?" She asked me as she leaned down further so she could see the side of my face.

When she didn't receive an immediate answer, she planted soft, delicate kisses along my jaw. She then continued to barely drag her fingers across the sensitive skin around my neck.

She knows what she's doing.

I know too.

Yet, I still let it happen every time. It's the only thing about this situationship that makes me actually feel good. It's the closest I've ever gotten to what I used to feel.

I'm settling for less and using her.

I am.

I can admit that.

This isn't my first time either.

Every woman after Ree was me just trying to fill that void that she left me with. When she's not here, it feels like a part of me is missing. I haven't really been myself lately and it's because I really miss my true love.

My soul mate.

Nobody can replace or amount to her.

I know this, Kyra knows this.

Yet, here we are.

"It's All American Boys."

The feeling of her lips and tongue coming in contact with my neck made me feel an immense sensation between my legs that I feel majority of the time when I'm around her. That is pretty much our relationship. Sex buddies that look damn good together but aren't really together, together.