My (Ex-Mercenary) Valentine || Spideypool

𝓶𝓲𝔁𝓽𝓪𝓹𝓮𝓼

The next time Spiderman arrived at his and Deadpool's usual meeting spot, there was a gift box waiting for him. After checking that it wasn't a bomb, he opened it to find another gift box. Then another. Then another. Then another. Until finally he pulled out a small square envelope. He opened it to find one of the oddest CD titles he'd ever seen, and this is before he noticed it had been written on the CD upside down.

Spiderman was laughing his ass off when Deadpool finally showed up to bask in the glow of his good work.

"Sooooo...do you like it?"

"I haven't even heard any of it yet, though I do appreciate the title."

"I can assure you that mixtape is almost as hot as you. It includes hits like DMX's X Gon' Give It To Ya, and a super soft depressing ass instrumental of my own creation that I like to call A Face I Would Sit On. Oh! And Careless Whisper is on there too. Can't have a sex album without Carless Whisper."

This sends Spiderman into another fit of laughter.

"Nobody has sex to Careless Whisper, Wade."

"Speak for yourself, baby boy, but I have dreams that a certain spandex clad cutie bangs me into next week while listening to this song and I'm just trying to keep the dream alive, ya feel?"

"As much as I hope that works out for you, Red," Spidey said through a snorted laugh, "I thought I told you to stop leaving gifts all over the place. Do your woo-ing somewhere else."

"I'm not leaving them all over the place. It's just that one, and it's for you! You seriously can't be this oblivious!"

"Fine," Spiderman said, but he doesn't sound like he gets it just a little resigned to taking the mixtape CD home. Like its a burden. Like Wade's a burden.

"Nevermind, Spidey, you don't have to. I'm not going to force you to keep it or to stick around me all the time. I get it."

"No!" Spidey said which much more intensity. "I like it, Wade, promise. I just...I'm not good with gifts and then I'm going to have to take this all the way back to my place before we patrol again and—" Spidey sucked un a breath and exhaled a few times before speaking again. "Thank you. I really appreciate it. I'm going to swing by my place and put this somewhere safe. Be right back! I spidey-swear it!"

Deadpool laid back on the roof staring up at the darkened sky, the stars not visible through the haze of light pollution in the city.

"Why didn't he just tell me he didn't like gifts before! That's why he thought they were all jokes, gifts make him uncomfortable and we both deal with tension with humor. I'm a Justice League movie sized mistake."