Thursday, November 7, 2018
8:00 p.m.
The Raye Residence
As soon as I walk through the front door, I feel all my walls crumbling. My chin trembles, my chest tightens, and my shoulders curl in on themselves. I hurry through the house to my bedroom.
"Why are you crying?"
I don't acknowledge my mom as she follows me through the house. When I reach my room I try to shut it so I can lock myself in, but she catches the door and stands in the way. She takes in my pathetic figure.
"Is this one of those episodes? That Dr. Hunter told me about over the phone?" Mom asks.
I try to shut the door, but she applies pressure to keep it open.
"Leave me alone."
"You're obviously upset about something-"
"I said leave me alone!"
She looks taken aback. "Excuse me for trying to help you." She turns and walks away from the door. I slam it shut and lock it.
I do what I always do when I feel like this. I find my hidden blade. I roll up my sleeves. I change into shorts.
I cry some more, so a bit of screaming into my pillow, then sit on my bed numbly as blood drips from my thighs and arms.
It's a terrible cycle. But it works.
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Jet Black Hearts / l.h.
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