Mr. Butter's Tales of Glory

Llama Nation

I had a friend ask me why llamas have two l's in their name. It was not because he wanted to know the actual reason, but because he wanted to know my conspiracy theory about it. 

Llong ago, Llamas only had one L in their name, but they were just as bloodthirsty as they are now. They earned the extra L in their name by viciously murdering half the population of South America. The South Americans agreed to let them have an extra L in their name to get them to stop murdering the people of South America. It is not clear who had the idea, but it has been attributed to the Supreme Order of Almost Holy Beauceant. It is said that their leader, Vernon V. Villainous conspired with the Llamas. Rumor has it that he told the Llama Overlord that the extra L in their name would distract people so much that the Llamas could attack these distracted people easily. Fortunately for the South Americans, many people at the time were illiterate, and so the plan failed. Vernon Villainous was sentenced to death by alpacas. After he met his bloody end at the hands of several Alpacas, the people were too disturbed by the ferocity of the Alpacas to give Llamas a second thought. To this day, the Llamas are still waiting for their revenge against the Alpacas and the South Americans.

It is reported that growing tensions between the Llamas and the Alpacas may lead to war in the coming year. Alpacas have reportedly refused to continue diplomatic relations with the Llama nation after several bombs were found in alfalfa meant to reach the Supreme Alpaca. When President Carl, the Llama Nations current president, was asked about this he said "Wh- I would never- uhhhh, probably slipped in there by mistake." The Llamas have objected the Alpacas accusations stating that the Llamas were framed by the Alpacas. So far, experts say that war is inevitable, and have invested in nuclear bunkers. They urge that you do the same.