Lovely Memories

Three

"Sam has three choices for where to go realistically," Lindsay explains. I'm sitting at the table with Mum and David while Dad stands at the doorframe of the bathroom, Cole and Cecilia sit in the middle of the hospital cot and Katy sits on the end. Lindsay stands near the corner opposite the cot and addresses us all. "She could live with Cole which is where she was before the crash, Cecilia where she remembers living and gradually move into her routine and there's also living with her parents but really it's up to her. I don't suggest living on her own especially with what's happened."

With three options and a decision to make running through my mind, I ask, "Where will remembering be best for me?" I notice that the wording was terrible but I can't care less as I see Lindsay look directly at me.

"In your old routine, with Cole," Lindsay replies. I nod, thinking that I've made my decision.

I turn my head to Cole, quickly taking in his denim jeans, black vans and black slogan t-shirt.

"What exactly is my old routine?" I ask him. His face turns into a knowing smirk that makes me want to punch him and hug him at the same time.

"Well, you work at a pet shop and were the assistant manager. The manager wanted you to become the manager ages ago but you didn't have much retail experience and you'd only been working there part time for three years when she - her name is Margaret - wanted to promote you but you were still at Uni." Cole turns to address the rest of the room. "So she put you on a higher salary and when you finished Uni she promoted you to assistant manager. They told me that they'd be happy to give you back your job when you're ready to go back. On a weekday, you'd wake up, get ready and you'd have to be at work for seven o'clock." His eyes find their way back to mine and our gazes lock as he talks. "Usually, you'd come home at three o'clock and work from home. As far as I'm concerned, you did a lot for Margaret and she planned to promote soon when the accident happened. You would go to work, check and feed the animals and pretty much do only a little less of what Margaret did. The only difference was that you didn't work weekends. That's really all there is. I apologise for the long back story but that stuff's kind of important."

I take in what he just told me. I'm not that surprised that I got into a job working with animals. I've always loved them. Besides, after being in the hospital for two days. I just want to get out. Eating hospital food. Drinking hospital coffee. Sleeping in a hospital bed. Looking at hospital people. That part makes me really sad. I woke up on Monday and now it's Wednesday and I just want to go home, whichever one it is. I really want to remember so Cole's my best choice, plus it would be nice to fall in love with him again, if that's possible. But I've done it before so I can do it again, I think.

Lindsay begins to talk again. "I think that we should give Sam a little bit of time to decide. I think her decision should be completely hers and no one should influence it."

With that Lindsay gave me a sweet smile and left the room. Mum gets up from her chair and gives me a hug from my sitting position. This experience right now reminds me of when I was little and I was about to learn how to ride a bike. I would've been around seven years old.

"I can't!" I exclaimed over dramatically to my Mum. Mum and Dad always thought that I was going to be a little actress.

"Yes you can," Mum had told me soothingly in an encouraging manner.

"No I can't!" I yelled looking down at my scraped knees from when I'd fallen off of my hot pink bike I'd gotten the day before for my birthday.

Mum crouched down to where I was sitting, holding my grazed elbow.

"You can either give up, or have another go Sam. I know you'll make the right decision," she had told me. I stood up, grabbed my helmet with a picture of Ariel on it - my favourite Disney princess - walked to the door and straight through it, walking straight toward my bike.