I am Loved

I am loved Prologue pt. 2

The first thing I remember is a hazy vision of doctors surrounding me. Moving and yelling and fuzzy orders being passed around as half a dozen hands moved over my body, before I blacked out again.
The next time I came to I was in a different room of the hospital. The only person in that room beside me now was my cousin Xi Lin. It took me a moment to quickly process what had happened what felt like seconds ago. It took even longer to speak. But all that came out was a messed up
"Xi Xi liiiidsfjsaiiiinn I tried to- and Aydin- My parents- dshuhhnnnng" surrounded by the sound of my sobs. Everything was coming back. After I calmed down, a doctor came in followed by my aunt Mei-Yin and cousin Xi Jiao.
Apparently, a young couple saw me being tossed out and stopped their car in the middle of the road so I wouldn't get hit by a car as they called an ambulance. There was blood everywhere and I could still smell the tangy familiar scent of blood through my bandages. I made it off with my life but they were unable to make contact with either of my parents and once they ID'd me, they made contact with my Aunt and cousins who flew here from Guangxi, China as I had been unconscious for over 3 days. I had a severely damaged shoulder, 3 broken ribs, a broken wrist, a fair share of nasty scars and gashes over my body. The Talus that connected my right foot to my leg was completely shattered and I required surgery to have all the shards removed from my foot and have it replaced with an artificial bone made out of a metal alloy. And a severe concussion to top it all off. Somehow miraculously,  through all my injuries. Not a single finger on either of my hands had been injured. No breaks, fractures, sprains, or even hairline fractures, just light scratches.
It was decided in the end that I would live with my Aunt and cousins.
My aunt Mei-Yin, Xi-Lin, and Xi-Jiao were very kind to me. The hunt for my parents was eventually dropped which made my Aunt angry. She believed that my father (her younger brother)  deserved harsh punishment. She vowed to "right this wrong" and to find him and my mother and make sure that they paid for their crimes. She promised me.
Unfortunately, she could not keep that promise. And my father would not receive any sort of punishment. Because my Aunt died in a freak fire 3 years after she took me in.

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At aunt Mei-Yin's funeral, I did not cry. I felt sad, though maybe losing contact with Aydin had desensitized me to such grief. She wasn't terribly involved with my life though at least she had a strong sense of justice, never punished me unfairly, and didn't hate me... I think...
    She still had her job back in Guangxi but I was attending a private on a full academic scholarship at the time so I had to stay in Hawai'i. Xi Lin and Xi Jiao stayed with me most of the time and acted as my legal guardians.
    After the funeral, an usher handed me a handwritten letter with my Chinese name written on the back of the envelope in mandarin, "Yuzhen Pang". Everyone was long gone so I changed out of my black formal button-down into a casual T-shirt. I walked to a bench outside of the funeral venue and opened the letter. It was composed completely in Mandarin, I recognized the handwriting as Xi Jiaos. I scanned the long letter. It took me a while to comprehend what it said because my Chinese was very rusty so I had to go slowly to translate. At the bottom of the page were Xi Jiao's neat signature and Xi Lins messy write-off. In summary. The letter was a farewell that wasn't able to reach me in person. In grief for the loss of their mother, the twins decided to return to China. Back to their real family. Leaving me behind.
Plip plip
My vision blurs and I feel the tears drip from my eyes and fall onto the letter.
Once again I have been left alone by the very people who should love me for who I am as a person and not as the failure I'm made out to be.