Bitter "Sugar"

do |part 1

Chapter 1

she cried and cried and I just watched. I felt nothing, no guilt, nor did I feel sorry for her she gets what she gets, and really, what do you expect me to do about it?

¨hey, let's go and not waste our time on her'

I said, they looked back at me and stared,
But left while mumbling which was a relief

I came up to her she as tears streamed down her face

Here eyes red and rosy cheeks

But, i tried to care less about it.

She was beautiful,

her dilated eyes,

slim face, light skin and she was just perfect, beautiful, that bothered me greatly.

I said to her with a scoff 'loser.'

I flicked her forehead and left that day

Never looking back, but my stomach hurt,

Knives puncturing me,and gunshots, causing deep wounds, blood spilling and not being able to breath, yeah that's how i would describe it.

It hurted a lot, i felt sick and my palm got sweaty and sticky

My breath hitched as i walked to a place where the girl couldn't see me, behind a wall

I held my stomach and tried not to feel sick, i couldn't bare it, i couldn't believe how i felt

I hate that i felt like that

I felt guilty, i felt bad for what i did to her

I tell myself i don't but my body wasn't denying it, it hated me and wanted me to think in the sameway, but i couldn't listen, i wanted to be the bad person, the villain, so i can have more power

i couldn't feel this way,

that's how i thought i was

I took a bottle out of my pocket, poped out a pill and gulped it, took a deep breath and left,

My breath became shaky as i started to leave, i quietly looked back and saw the girl in tears and bruised

I didn't know, but i had a guilty look on my face. Tears were streaming down my face but i was numb

I went into a gas station and went to get a pack of laramie and slid it to the cashier, he was a young man that looked about my age, he had a little smile but the smile turned into a frown, he said in a sweet voice

"Are you okay? Your crying a lot.."

I flinched at what he said

I panicked a bit as i started feeling tears stream down my face

I rubbed my eyes trying to get rid of the tears turning the skin red around my eyes, as i gasped for breath and choking on tears,

I zoned out and kept telling myself things

Painful thoughts that hurt me greatly

but i really couldn't care less.

But then at the moment i came back into reality

Because of soft and warm arms i felt around my shaken body.