Bitter "Sugar"

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My friends looked at me and raised an eyebrow,

they were curious why i acted, it wasn't like me. I would usually tell them to go to the target, but other than curiosity there was another expression.

It was fear.

It was 5 of us, jun, sooya, hyung, jisung and me.

‘Who am i exactly?’

All i know about my self is that

My name is Jiyeon, yeah like idol.

But i'm no idol obviously. My small eyes my pale face my big lips, short black hair that never grows, bangs covering my face. I'm ugly. My body is a whole different story though, i don't each much which caused my bones to show, and scars all over, i was to weak to walk, i hated it.

But i manage, i wear heavy clothing with many layers to help hide my true body.

It wasn't always like this,

I used to be so confident, i would wear short skirts and my body was great,

Until it all started.

I shiver at the past events,

i try to forget

I really do.

I snapped back to reality, my 4 friends staring in concern especially jisung.

She was the elder, and my god, was she pretty, her long brown hair flowing down, her skinny body, her curves, she was just perfection.

And she was my best friend.

She wasn't too old, i was a junior and she senior so yeah,

I just rolled my eyes at their concerned faces, and told them “pfft, guys, don't worry i didn't kill her” they frowned, jun had pink hair that faded to blue

And even though he was my friend,to me he was hot- (sksk-) i had a mad crush on him, key word, had, i don't like him anymore,

It's nothing wrong with him, it was just because he got a girlfriend.

Yeah, i got super upset when he did, i cried like a baby because i liked him a lot.

But he was my friend so i tried to hide it,

I was happy for him.

Anyway, jun pouted and said ‘that wasn't funny, we obviously meant you dumbass’

I smiled, he was so cute, but it surprised me that he was worried about me more then the girl, like, i hurt her so badly and i had no scratch.

‘I'm fine, just turn that frown upside down jeez guys, ’

They scoffed, and rolled their eyes, they knew i wasn't fine but they smiled anyway

And i smiled back.

-   - -   - -

After those  events it was late in the afternoon,  we were talking and laughing, all those things.

But i was silent, abit more silent than i usually am,

They noticed.

i watched them, hyung was pretty uncomfortable, he pushed back his fluffy black hair revealing his beautiful silver eyes in more context, and he looked at me

“like what you see?” he said with a smirk, i didn't realize how long i was staring at him,

“pfft- you wish, i was just thinking” i said with pink tinted cheeks and he just laughed.

Jun rolled his eyes and glared at hyung

Jisung looked disappointed, i don't know what's up with them

“well, do you wanna join us jiyeon?”  jisung quickly asked, trying to change the subject,  jisung wasn't like that, to change the subject, anyway,

i looked at her in confusion,

I wasn't actually listening

“wha? Go where?”

“if you weren't too busy swooning over hyung you would have heard, we wanna have a bonfire!” jun exclaimed, he looked excited.

But i froze

Nonono, this. We haven't done this in awhile, not because it's dangerous but we ALL embarrass ourself, it can get dangerous though.

Our definition of a bonfire is get drunk and do shit, of course one of us aren't going to be drunk,

My feelings are everywhere, who knows what i'm going to do?

They really wanna do it, i was to scared to say no, so i sadly said “of course, why not.”

And their faces lit up

but,

I didn’t realize how much i would regret it in the end.