The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals [LYRICS]

Show Stoppin Number

[PROFESSOR HIDGENS, spoken]
This is humanity's eleventh hour!
And I've prepared something for the occasion

(sung)
It's
A
Show stoppin' number, a real show stopper
A show stoppin' number, come on
Something to shock 'em, to bring them a-crawling
A big-time box-office draw
With the press and the glamour, we'll kill the reviews
Spotlight on Mr. Ingenue
So fill up your tumbler
Got a show stoppin' number for you

[EMMA, spoken]
Professor, please, if they find us they will kill us!

[PROFESSOR HIDGENS, sung]
A show stoppin' number is something you die for
A real catchy earworm-y tune
An award-winning score that seeps in and out of your pores
A ditty make the chorus girls swo-on
It'll unify humanity in a thundering chorus!
No exits from this Broadway venue
So splash those shiny cymbals
Got a show stoppin' hymnal for you

(spoken)
This song's pretty good, huh? I bet you didn't know I was also a composer. In fact, while I've been preparing for the apocalypse I've also been writing my own musical... Do you mind if I give you the pitch?

[EMMA, spoken]
We don't have time—

[TED, spoken]
Fucking go for it!

[PROFESSOR HIDGENS, spoken]
It's called: Working Boys: A New Musical. It's the story of a group of old college chums. Sure, they found success in the business world. Still, they can't help but long for the simpler times, back in that beat-up old house at the edge of campus. But those glory days, they're gone for good
Or, are they? This here, is the title number!

(sung)
Business calls, I'm up to my ass in shit
What is this business?
Markets are crashing and I'm at the edge of my wits
I just can't take it
When all I want to do
Is spend the day with Greg
And Steve
And Stu
And Mark
And Leighton
And Chad

(spoken)
Ring, ring. The phone rings. I answer it

Oh, hey Greg. I'm swamped, with business. Stocks, bonds, golden parachutes... Remember those days on the football field, Greg? Last week feels like ages ago

What? Today? After work? On the football field? The old stomping ground, eh Greg? Just you.. and me... and Steve... and Stu... and Mark, and Leighton...

[PROFESSOR HIDGENS & TED, spoken]
And Chad

[PROFESSOR HIDGENS, spoken]
Five o'clock. I'll see you then, Greg...
I'll see you then

(sung)
All I want to do
I​s spend that day with Steve and—
Five o'clock can't come soon enough
Five o'clock can't come soon enough
Five o'clock can't come soon enough
I can't wait to get home
To my boys

A show stoppin' number, a real show stopper
An aria to rule them all
They'll throw us their money at full price admission
The world will come tumblin' down
Hamilton, move over
Your new competition's in town

["GREG", spoken]
Hey Henry!

[PROFESSOR HIDGENS, spoken]
Greg! Is that really you?

[EMMA, spoken]
Professor, no! That's not Greg!

["GREG", spoken]
Been a long time...

["STU", spoken]
Hey boys, wanna' toss that pig-skin around?

[PROFESSOR HIDGENS, spoken]
Stu! You haven't aged a day! Is it five o'clock already? It must be!

["GREG", spoken]
Come on, Henry. We've got some catching up to do

[PROFESSOR HIDGENS, "GREG" & "STU", sung]
Working boys, we're up in our ass in shit
What is this business?
Five o'clock can't come soon enough
Five o'clock can't come soon enough
Five o'clock can't come soon enough
I can't wait to get home
To my bo-oys!

author's note; hamilton who? working boys is the only piece of musical theatre that actually deserves a tony.

robert manion deserves all the love 💕

this is my favorite song and I love the all of the scenes