Know Child of Mind (Completed)

Her Song

Hello
I pat the tree again
Hello um...
PDRFME it's an acronym
Her hazel eyes blinking at me
Acronym for what?
For our special situation

Whatever is happening I choose to go along with it
I worry if this is all in my mind
The mind is a scary place
I sit on the bench and she sits on the end waiting for more interest
I comply

What's your favorite season?

Spring. I like to chase the butterflies. I had a pet butterfly but you told me to set it free.

Butterflies have their own path same as us humans. Since you can come from the future why did you choose this age?

I cannot answer that. The rules of my existence won't allow it.

This is weird. I feel like I'm in a coma.

The world is weird. Every second someone is progressing, procreating, dying and killing. We are basically surrounded by misery but the good times overshadow that. What's good in your life right now?

I didn't know how to answer that question. I'm used to just saying I'm fine. My mind's a mess and the fact that people try so hard to get next to me is bewildering.

If I show the real me and I say what I really want to say, would anyone really want to hear me? I've always been a positive guy. Always joking. Always popular. Always had more friends than I could deal with but inside it was fraud work.

I am a good clutch for someone else's emotional peace. Nothing more, nothing less. My heart beats two ways. The one that is anxious in the day and the one that struggles in the night with the lies I've told. I'm good for other people but toxic to myself.

There is no shame in making people happy but if you can be honest with yourself that's all that matters. You tell this tree everything and the tree is well. Maybe one day you'll find someone to trust so you could both tell each other things without worrying if it would affect your relationship with them.

I couldn't help smiling.

You're nice to talk to for a kid. Most of the ones I talked to were annoying little ankle biters but you're alright.

Am I alright enough for a hug?

Not yet but we'll see.

I think I'm getting attached. Maybe having a kid isn't so bad after all. She's like a better version of me. I can talk in all sorts of colors with her. She understood. I think I was waiting for the day to let go. To let my words pass out from their exhaustion and raise hands in victory.

I am still cautious however as if someone will pop out from behind the tree and say gotcha but it never happened. I checked my phone. 189 missed calls. 354 text messages. Over a thousand notifications from my social media. I'm glad when my notification sounds are down.

Since I'm a nice guy I want to tend to everyone but it's impossible without getting  mentally exhausted.

Go be with your friends Dad. I'm not here to stop your life. We've talked enough for today. We have tommorow if you want. I'll be here.

Thank you PDRFME. You have to tell me what that means someday.

I will. When I can no longer hold my existence. The time machine is temporary y'know.

I walked away better than I walked in. I responded to a few texts about a party. I was going to one now.

You could stop spinning but the world never will.
I catch sonder and wonder if someone wants to reach for me like she says.
PDRFME
What does that mean to me?
Someday it might mean everything.