I Knew You Before You Noticed Me

Chapter 6

Still smiling from Tam's joke, I ran downstairs to grab art supplies from our garage. Mom and Dad had hidden them down there when I was little to keep me out of the glitter glue and stop me from sticking Fitz's hands to his hair. Now, it was their permanent home.

I grabbed an armful of markers, a basket of glitter glue (because why not), construction paper and a pair of scissors from the kitchen before heading back upstairs. I did a quick drop-off, then--much to Tam's confusion--ran back downstairs to check the ice cream. It was still there.

"Okay, I'm back," I said, slightly breathless. I closed the door and turned to find Tam on his back, hands behind his head like he was relaxing in the sun. He turned to face me and immediately sat up. "Sorry."

I smiled. "It's fine. I did tell you to make yourself at home."

"So," he said, leaning back on his hands and surveying the mass of supplies with raised eyebrows. "Think you got enough?"

I pretended to consider, placing a hand on my hips. "I don't know. Do you think we have enough?"

He glanced at me, then the supplies, then back. "That depends on whether I want to make you suffer anymore."

I smirked at him. "That depends on whether I'll let you."

He grinned, and I was surprised how much it changed his face. He looked like a totally different person.

"Fair enough," he conceded, gesturing to the poster board laid out at his feet. "I got that all set up, if you want to go ahead and start."

I shrugged and sat down beside him. "Sure. Let's go."

"Which of us has better handwriting?" he asked, taking out a black Sharpie from the many markers littering my carpet. He glanced at me. "Probably you, right?"

"Probably," I agreed, taking the marker. "Want to switch sides? I can start on the word problems, and you can do the graph?"

"Can't guarantee any straight lines, but sure, I'll give it a shot," Tam said, picking up a purple marker. "Let's make it colorful."

"Color? You?" I teased, looking at his black hoodie and jeans. He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, don't you start too. Linh does that to me all the time. It's become a hobbie for her at this point."

"Linh's your sister, right?" I asked, laying on my stomach and writing the first sentence to the problem.

"My twin sister, yeah. Got a ruler?"

I handed him one. "You guys are close, right?"

"Yeah." His voice had taken on an edge I couldn't quite place, his eyes focused on the line he was making. "Why?"

I shrugged. "Just trying to make conversation."

There was a short silence, filled with only the shift of the board and the squeak of markers. I looked over to see Tam tugging on his bangs.

"Why did you do that?" I asked, and added at his peculiar look, "Dye your hair silver."

"Do you want to hear the real answer or the non-awkward one?" he asked, his tone light, but heavy with the forced emotion.

"Let's go with the non-awkward one first."

He shrugged. "I thought it would look cool."

"It does," I agreed. "And the real one...?"

Tam wouldn't meet my eyes. "My parents were always a bit...harsh on Linh and me. They wanted us to be the best, and they pushed us a little too hard. Especially Linh. They also didn't approve of my bangs in general. They thought it made me look 'edgy'." He put the word in air quotes. "So, I decided to dye my hair silver. Something they never wanted us to be. We were never allowed second place, so I made sure that's all I ever was." He shook his head. "Told you it would be awkward."

"No," I said quietly. "It's not awkward. I'm just...sorry."

Tam shrugged, his hand making it halfway up before he forced it back down. "It's fine. We're living with a family friend now, so it's alright."

I nodded, and finished writing my word problem in silence. Tam wouldn't meet my eyes when I glanced over, and I didn't force him.

I felt special. I didn't know he trusted me enough to tell me that, let alone without a lot of convincing.

"Okay, done," Tam said breathlessly, sitting back and pushing his bangs off his forehead. A colorful graph and neatly written equation sat in the middle of the poster board, complete with labels and side notes.

"Wow," I said. "You have really nice handwriting, you know."

"Thanks," he said, and he grinned at me. "Think it's better than yours?"

"Absolutely not," I said, with feigned superiority. "My handwriting will always be the best."

Tam laughed, and something in my chest shifted. I hadn't felt that since....

Keefe.

Immediately, my good mood faded. Not again. I wasn't making a mistake again.

"I think we did pretty good for one day," Tam said, looking over our work. He glanced at me, and with his hair out of his eyes, I saw that they were a blue-silver, like a shimmering winter sky. I'd always known his eyes were light...

I looked away. "Yeah. Wanna continue tomorrow?"

He blinked. "Uh, sure. Are you going to keep the board or should I?"

"I'll take it." I knew I sounded rude, but I just wanted him out of here. I wasn't making the same mistake again. With looks like that, he probably had all sorts of girls coming after him--and I wasn't going to be one of them. Not again.

"Okay." I could hear the confusion in his voice, and underneath, hurt. He grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yep." I tried for a smile, for his sake. "See you."

He hesitated, as if he wanted to say something. But he decided against it, and with a quick wave, walked out the door.