Voiceless || e.d.

Chapter 3

next day (saturday afternoon)
graces pov

i slip on my jacket and quickly head downstairs.

i grab austin's car keys and head out the door. after being forced to move here, i found a really special spot that nobody else went to. at least not that i ever saw.
(picture above^)

i got in the car and started the engine taking off in the direction of my special spot.

even though i haven't lived here long, going to this special spot is my favorite thing to do. it gives me some sense of calmness, a clear mind.

after fifteen minutes of driving, i finally pull up at my spot.

i get out of the car and start walking into the woods. finally i reach the giant rock, the trees had a clearing to where you could see the lake.

something about being in nature was very peaceful to me. maybe the sounds of the wind or the vibrant colors.

i sit on the rock and stare out at the water.

olivia loved anything water related so going here gives me some hope that she's here with me.

everytime i think about her my chest gets extremely tight and painful.

they say grief will eventually become softer, more gentle over time. yet it's been over a year and every single time i think about her, i feel like i could instantly burst.

the fact that i will never be able to have a conversation with her, hug her, laugh with her, or do anything with her kills me.

thinking about it immediately send sobs to escape my mouth as i hug my knees to my chest.

i'm pissed at the world. for never having  stable loving parents for my sister and i, for my parents treating olivia and i like garbage, for having to be in foster care, and the fact that my sister is dead and is never coming back.

this loneliness is a knife on my heart, cutting it with just enough pressure to be a constant pain and leave constant scars. it kills me more and more everyday, making it just that much harder to breathe each and everyday.

at this point i'm having a full on panic attack, struggling to breathe. all why wondering,

what's even the point in going on?

~~~
omg guess who's alive. life is treating me extremely shitty and i am having a really hard time rn.
any way after 4 whole head ass months i finally updated. ik it's kinda short and sucks lol but i actually have some exciting ass shit for this book. my friend helped me come up with a big ass surprise for this book and ye it's gonna be great.
✌🏼