ephemeral |o. dazai|

VII

That morning, Dazai woke up to see [Name] absent. Of course; he wasn't expecting her to stick around the entire night, but it was somewhat concerning. Oh well, he could probably ask her whatever when he decides to go to work, that is, if he does go to work. His limbs were heavy with lethargy and there wasn't much gain from him going to work, after all, it's not like he does much work anyway.

He thought he would go back to sleep, but when he got comfortable again in the bed, the loud, obnoxious ringtone of his phone forced him to jerk out of the covers in surprise. With an annoyed sigh, Dazai fixed a wide grin on his face, answering his phone. "Good morning, Kunikida!"

"Don't 'good morning' me! Where the hell are you?" It was about nine thirty, and it sounded like Kunikida's blood pressure was already through the roof because of Dazai. That was some kind of achievement.

"Why, I'm at home of course!" Dazai's voice remained unfalteringly cheery and he didn't need to see the blonde man's expression to know he was fuming.

"Get here now, you absolute waste," Kunikida seethed, before hanging up. Dazai removed the contraption from his ear, frowning as he lied back down on the bed—he didn't have to move right now, it's not like Kunikida could drag him out of bed. Well, he could, but he probably wouldn't want to come back to the dormitories only to go back to the agency again anytime soon. With a tired groan, Dazai closed his eyes that were heavy with sleep. His thoughts whirled chaotically as he shielded his eyes from the harsh sunlight with his forearm. He didn't have any cases he wanted to particularly work on nor did he have anything compelling enough to go back to the agency. He had recently learnt about an orphaned ability user who seemed rather fascinating, but that was a case for a different time.

Dazai yawned, pulling himself out of his bed as he trudged across his room, wrapping new bandages around himself and pulling on his shirt and slacks, yawning again. A small, meaningless tune escaped his lips as he hummed, trying to fill the empty air with some sound, pulling a manufactured, relaxed smile onto his lips. Maybe he'll replace Kunikida's coffee today with vinegar, or take his diary, or maybe bet his money on the horse race. Yeah, that sounded fun.

He stared at his disgusting reflection. His hair was a mess, his eyes were dulled with sleep, and an unrelenting grin contorted his lips. With a quick sigh, Dazai ran his hand through his hair, fixing it somewhat lazily before leaving the bare dorm room. What he didn't expect, however, was to run into Kaito just a few feet away from the dorms.

"Good morning!"

"Hello." Dazai mentally noted the medic's threatening monotone, but pretended to be oblivious to it as he tilted his head, his unblinking gaze boring into Dazai. "I hear [Name] was at your place last night; is she okay?"

"Oh yeah, she's fine, she's fine! There were just some complications due to work so she decided to stay over for the night!" Dazai lied, but Kaito didn't seem to believe him.

"Is that so."

"I assure you, I won't let anything happen to her." Dazai punctuated his sentence with a laugh, slapping the man's slender shoulders. "So don't worry!" The man's body stiffened under his touch while Dazai moved around him, making his way down the street. What an obnoxiously protective 'boyfriend'.

Dazai let the abhorrent smile slip off his face the moment he knew no one was looking at him as he made his way through the wintery city. The chilly streets were filled with joyous couples and friends, chittering relentlessly around him as he buried his nose into his blue scarf. "Good morning everyone!" Dazai greeted with a wide grin, only to pout when no one responded. "Everyone's ignoring me? How rude!"

Yosano looked up at him, only seeming to register his presence then. A deep-set frown graced her lips. "Where's [Name]? She's not answering her phone." A feeling of dread settling in the deepest depths of his being instinctively, but he concealed it with a simple but innocent confused look.

"I thought she was here." His head was tilted a bit as his eyes scanned the office space. There was no sign of her ever being there, surprisingly. Save for an empty desk, there was nothing to suggest that there was another person working with them. "Shall I go look for her?"

"You're not getting off work that easily, Dazai you bastard! First you come in here an hour late, then you try to skip work because we all know you're not actually going to look for [Name]—" Kunikida shook Dazai, but stopped abruptly as the brunet cut him off.

"I saw your prime suspect by the dorms, by the way. Maybe you should check that out?"

Yosano grumbled under her breath, hesitating a bit. "If you see [Name], tell her to find me." And with that, she quickly stormed off to find the suspect.

[Name]'s disappearance wasn't sitting well with Dazai, at all. The timing seemed strange, and knowing her, it was unlikely she was kidnapped. Was it something to do with her stalker? If it was, it's unlikely she'll tell him anything, seeing as she has this strange aversion towards him. No, maybe that's not the right word. Regardless, maybe [Name] would confide in Chuuya more than himself. After all, the two of them got along back in the Mafia.

With much reluctance, Dazai dialled Chuuya's number. It rang a few times before going to voicemail. With a click of his tongue, he tried again. And again. And again—

"The fuck do you want?" 

"Good afternoon, Chuuya! How have you been?" Dazai's obnoxiously saccharine tone annoyed the mafioso beyond belief.

"The fuck do you want?" He repeated with a low, threatening growl.

"My, my, Chuuya! You really must learn to control that temper of yours!"

"I'm hanging up—"

"Well I can tell you're busy, so I'll make this mercifully quick for the both of us," Dazai hastily interrupted. Chuuya went silent, waiting for him to continue. "Did [Name] ever tell you anything about a stalker?"

"[Name]? Now there's a name I haven't heard in years!" His voice was tender with nostalgia. "So you finally found her, huh? Your little pet project?"

"Answer the question before you kill anymore of my brain cells."

"I don't know anything about a stalker." Dazai kissed his teeth before hanging up. That was far from helpful. With a small groan, Dazai stood up from the sofa, grabbing his coat and scarf before heading into the harsh winter street.

He was searching for [Name], going to all places they frequented back in the mafia: her favourite bookstore, their usual bar, the motel they would usually stay at during missions, but all of them were empty. With a dejected sigh, Dazai began making his way back to the agency, but his phone began ringing. Dazai sighed, before picking up Kunikida's call. "Good evening, Kuniki—"

"Where the fuck are you?" Kunikida was unsurprisingly mad, but he also seemed concerned. Why was he concerned?

"Is something wrong?" There was a tense silence before Kunikida sighed.

"[Name] tried to drown herself."

☁︎

can someone talk to me im so lonely-