ephemeral |o. dazai|

Epilogue

Dazai went to the Cherry Blossom Festival alone that year and the following year. It had become a tradition. He would go, drink until he forgot his name, and leave.

"Mr Dazai," Atsushi called out, curious as to why the man was leaving early, "where are you going?" It wasn't a surprising sight—Atsushi had gotten used to him skipping work—but no one seemed to be reprimanding him.

Dazai looked down at the boy with a smile. "To the Cherry Blossome Festival, of course!"

"Can I come with you?" 

"I don't see why not."

The two made their way. Dazai was quieter than he usually was, too tired from the memories that were replaying over and over in his head to make and sort of witty comments. Instead, he decided to just watch the blooming flowers silently, smiling at the bittersweet thought of how much [Name] would have lived to see it. "Is the festival important to you, Mr Dazai?"

"You could say that." Dazai watched as Atsushi hesitated a bit before turning back to the trees. What is it?"

"I came across the archives. There was another member, wasn't there?"

"Ah, is that why you wanted to come with me?"

"N-no, I just—you know—" Atsushi was cut off by Dazai's laugh.

"I'm kidding." He looked down at the boy. "Do you want to know about her?"  Atsushi nodded. He leaned on the railing, smiling fondly. "She was...interesting, and surprisingly—sweet." Dazai paused a bit, trying to think of a way to convey her personality without overstepping boundaries. "You would have liked her. She was great to be around."

"Were you two close?"

Dazai nodded. "I'd like to think so. I don't know if she felt the same way. She said she'd come with me to the Cherry Blossom Festival before—leaving."

"Were you two—together?"

Dazai shifted. "No. But things could've changed if we had some—more time." He hated it. He knew things could have been so much more different if he had noticed the signs, had stopped it before it went to far. Maybe then [Name] wouldn't have felt so lonely. "Atsushi, do you believe in reincarnation?" Atsushi gave him an inquisitive glance. "I don't, really but maybe, just maybe, we'll see each other again. Maybe you'll see her too. I'll introduce you."

Atsushi smiled, watching the bittersweet fondness in his chocolate pools, tender, sweet, despairing. "That would be nice." Dazai was grasping. That's not like him, but he wanted the hope. That one day, maybe in another life, things will work out better.

"What do you say we go drinking?"

"I'm underage."

"I can make it work." Dazai winked, pushing himself off the railing.

☁︎
i might make a dazai x oc reincarnation au that's loosely based off of this.