Hit or Miss || lams

Fight Me, Philosophy!

-press play-

"What is love? What is love? Like, i know it's an emotion. I know it's the feeling you get when you're around your crush. But what is love? Answer me this socrates!

-background sound of footsteps and a gunshot-

"Ow! Holy shit guns hurt! I guess thats a sign I should clean my room. Or my house in general...

"Back to the philosophy of love while I bandage my foot. You know what? Screw it, love is when you care about someone enough to put their life ahead of yours.

"And thats how i feel about John

"Remember that double gunshot from earlier? Thats my proof of love

"You're probably wondering how i got to this conclusion. Yeah, i wanted him dead. Every target I got I wanted dead. Thats just what happens when you're trained to kill at a semi-young age.

"But bloody hell! John is hard to kill! I couldnt do it if I tried; and i tried. Hard.

"You have no idea how many times I nearly suffocated from a smoke bomb! How many times I'd go home and throw my pistol on the ground in a fit, only to almost shoot myself in the process! Ive fallen off so many rooftops, he thinks I'm suicidal and comes by my house at least once a week.

"Then there was the time i tried to do the 'poison in drink' trick like in the movies... Heres how that went:

"John came over to my house. I made two cups of coffee. I put poison in one. I forgot which one. I spent an entire week purging my guys and felt like I was on the brink of death. Which I was.

"I swear he was the luckiest guy ever. And im a professional at my job! Washington was actually becoming worried about me for a couple of reasons.

"One being he found out that i dont sleep. I don't see the problem with that though. Another being that while failing miserably at killing John, if kill other people. You know, doing my job.

"He thinks I'm overworking myself which is not true

"...

"I should probably continue telling you what happened during my life before I accidentally break the recorder...