Fates Cruel Hand

Relapse?

Mattys POV

Zane has been living with me for 2 weeks now and he has improved so much in that short space of time. His nightmares have reduced so we arent having several every night and his shy behaviour has become a little more outgoing and he is comfortable now with doing things without asking me for permissiin every time. His moods are a little concerning still as he can become very low very suddenly but we have been coping. When in a low mood Zane mostly likes to be wrapped up in his soft blue fleece blanket and left to snuggle his dolphine stuffie. Which is fine with me, although i always remain in the room in case he needs me, which he has a couple times.
Im currently slaving away at the cooker making our dinner while Zane watches one of his favourite programmes on TV. His soft giggles float my way every so often and i just cant help but smile. He is seriously too cute.
My smile soon fades though when i think about what i will be telling him after dinner. Its sunday and tomorrow is monday, a work day. My work day. Im going to have to leave Zane for a few hours to go to work as my holiday has ran out. I sigh as i imagine how upset and possibly scared he will be. Ive asked my mom to come over to sit with him but im still very worried.
"Zane buddy, foods ready!" I call as i place our plates onto the small table in the kitchen.
Soft thuds sound before Zane pokes his head round the doorframe. A smile graces his face as he continues into the kitchen and takes his seat at the table.
"What it?" He asks as he nudged the spaghetti noodles a little.
"Spaghetti bolognaise. Its pasta and beef in tomato sauce." I told him as i dug into my own meal.
He stared at me with confusion on his features as he watched me twirl the pasta onto my fork and into my mouth.
I watched him from the corner of my eye, as Zane gets very self conscious if hes watched when eating because his coordination with cutlery still isnt great.
I chuckle to myself as he attempts to twirl the pasta onto his fork like he had seen me do. After several attempts he managed to get a bit in his mouth instead of it falling off his fork midway. The look of happiness on his face was just too cute. Every step is a huge accomplishment with Zane as he was deprived of so much for so long and it makes my heart swell with pride everytime he progresses and learns something new.
After dinner Zane helped me load the dish washer as he had done every night this week before we sat in the lounge together.
Taking a deep breath i looked at Zane, "Zane buddy, ive got something to tell you." I got his attention immediatelym "Ive got to go back to work tomorrow, only for a few hours." I watched as his face grew unsure as he processed what i was saying. "My moms going to come down and sit with you while im at work okay?"
And then the tears began. My heart broke as Zanes face rapidly became soaked in tears as he shook his head whimpering "no."
"Sshh Zane, come on kiddo. Calm down, calm down." I shushed as i pulled him into my arms. He continued to whiper like a wounded animal but at least his tears were calming.
"Im sorry Zane but i have to go back to work. Theyve agreed for me to start back on half days and gradually build my hours up once your used to the new routine. You wont be on your own. My mothers coming to be with you. Shes a lovely person, very kind and im sure you two will be best friends by the time i get back." I try to reassure him but it doesnt work.
"No leave! Promised. No leave me!" He wailed.
That hurt. He thought i was leaving him. Tears lined my own eyes as i listened to his cries as he held my shirt in his small fist.
It took nearly 2 hours for Zane to stop crying and to partially understand why i wasnt going to be here for half the day tomorrow.
"So no leave? Just leave a little?" He snivelled, looking up at me with teary eyes.
I nodded, "yeah, i'll only be gone for a little bit. But i will be home before you know it alright?"
He nodded, seeming to accept what had been said. Only tomorrow will tell if hes truely understood what was said.

Zanes POV

It was monday. I hate mondays. They make Matty leave me to go to stupid work. Why cant he stay home with me always? I huff and pout as a bowl is set in front of me on the kitchen table.
"Now Zane none of that. I know you dont want me to go but i wont be long i promise." Matty scolded lightly.
I mumbled a quick sorry before concentrating on the task at hand. Getting cereal onto a spoon and into my mouh without spilling it all over the place was a task i found extremely difficult and embarassing. I was an adult for crying out loud, why couldnt i just be normal and do it like everyone else.
The doorbell rang making me startle at the sudden loud noise, causing me to drop the spoonful of milk onto my top. I looked up at Mattys back as he exited the kitchen with tears lining my eyes. I hated it. I hated not being able to do stuff like everyone else. I hate my stupid father for making me be like this. I hate mom for leaving me with that man. I hate not succeeding my suicide attempt. I hate it! Angrily i scrubbed at the tears, a bit more aggressively than i probably shouldve.
The sound of a females voice echoed round the flat causing me to grit my teeth. I didnt want her here. I dont want anyone besides Matty.
"Zane this is...are you crying?" Mattys voice came through the kitchen as he entered but i couldnt look at him. I didnt deserve the kindness he was showing me. Ive intruded on his life and now he cant even go to his job properly because of me.
I felt arms wrap around me as i fell further and further into my own self despair.
"Zane buddy. Breathe for me. Come on. Its alright. Ive got you. Breathe." Mattys voice was all i could hear but my eyes were focused on nothing but the knife on the table that Matty had used for his breakfast. I didnt think as i reached for it.
"Zane! Stop!" Matty yelled as he quickly pulled my arm back to my side, pulling me up out of my chair and into his arms.
Dazed and confused i was wrapped tightly in my special blue blanket, something soft being tucked in by my neck.
"Ive got you Zane. Im here. Speak to me kiddo. Please. Anything. I just want to know you can hear me. I want to know your still wib me." Mattys voice surrounded me and was as comforting as the warmth the blanket created.
I whimpered and snuggled as best i could into his chest as finally my lungs allowed me to inhale a deep, shuddering breath that was full of his calming scent.
"Thats it. Well done Zane. Thats it. Just keep taking deep breaths. Ive got you." Matty continued to praise me and offer comfort until i had sufficiently calmed down.
"Would you like me to get him anything?" A female voice broke the peaceful silence, causing me to flinch into Matty.
He shushed me softly before responding, "can you get me a glass of water please mom."
A few moments later a glass was put on my dry lips, nudging it softly in encouragement. I drank a few sips before whining and burying my head into Mattys neck.
"Honey i think it might be best if you call in and tell the office your not coming in today." The female voice spoke out again.
"I know mom. Ill call and explain once hes calmed down. Your welcome to stay." Matty spoke but by this point i was too tired to care.
I fought with my eye lids for a moment before the need to sleep won and i let them slide shut, too tired to fight anymore.

Hi my awesome readers. Sorry wattpad didnt upload part of this chapter so ive had to redo it which sucks! Anyway enjoy and let me know what you think