So, That's Your Dad? (Freddie Mercury) | Under Construction

Chapter Twenty One: The Time I Didn't Want To Be Home

I don't want to be here. I don't want to see him. I want nothing to do with him. It is not that I am mad at him or that I hate him. I can't be in the same proximity as him with what I know. I can't see him knowing that he's not ok. I have been crying so much since I left Ben's apartment to where I am in my house now. My vision is not even clear as I can see the water forming and releasing. I quickly wipe them away. Like that will do anything.

My face is so red that there isn't any way possible that I can hide that I was and still am crying. I begin to walk but not at any sort of pace. I don't want to know who is beyond this hallway but I am almost there. They just keep coming and I can't really hold them back anymore. My dad scares me while he is sitting on the armchair and staring straight at me. He was waiting for me to come home, I assume. I jump when I see him. Due to my anxiety of seeing him. "Hey!" I greeted loudly.

He only gave me a slight smile when he saw me. "Sit down darling." He ordered and patted on his thigh. Indicating for me to sit on his lap. I nodded and complied. This is another thing I haven't done since I was a small child. I was carefully when sitting down because I didn't want to crush him. Tears came again. "What's wrong baby?" He asked while wiping away my tears. I didn't want to say anything because it hurts me to see him in general. He then hugged me and tried his best to comfort me. There was nothing he could do.

"Tiffany. I know why you're crying, and I know what you found. Tiffany I am so sorry. I didn't want you to find out this way, I wanted you to hear it from me." He began and I shook my head immediately. The tears now going down to my chin. "No dad. Stop lying to me, please tell me this is all just a misunderstanding." I begged. My dad then began to cry. I was making him cry and I felt terrible. I don't want to be the reason for him crying. And I wish he wasn't the reason for me crying.

"Tiffany, you know that I cannot do that. I love you too much to lie to you. It's true. I have AIDS." My dad revealed. Those three final words, are the last words I want to hear in my lifetime. I began to shake my head and sob. "I'm so sorry baby." He apologized. What? I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and buried my face into his neck. His hands on my back. "Dad this isn't your fault. None of it is." I cried. "I know." He said. After thirty seconds I couldn't take it and stood up.

"Dad I love you so much, but I need to be alone." I stated while pushing my hair back. I began to go up the stairs. "No Tiff wait!" My dad yelled and I decided to ignore him. I bolted to the piano room. I didn't care that I was banned from that area for life. I didn't care who was around to hear me. I just need to be in there. I needed to, do something with all that I had just heard and is now rushing through my head. I take a seat and stare at the keys. Water falls onto the middle C key, the first key I ever learned.

Only one song comes to mind. I play the four warm up keys, and then I repeat that. I start to play the main riff. This was the first song that I ever learned, or self taught. I have never sang with people in my house before. But I am now, I don't care.

"Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody Ive got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, oh oh
I don't wanna die
Sometimes wish I'd never been born at all"

I stop now freezing. I'm now only staring at the keys. What did I stop for exactly? Was I expecting a guitar solo? I don't know. I am finally able to breathe and I have only slightly calmed down. I suddenly hear a slow amount of applause. I turn towards the door and I see my dad. I'm fearing that he might yell at me. "Oh I'm so sorry. I know that I am not supposed to be in here!" I apologized. "No, you're fine." He said then walked in. He looked sad. "May I sit down?" He requested.

I nodded. "Where did you learn that?" He asked me being interested. "I would watch you play it, for years now." I answered. He cried and hugged me. Which caused me to cry all over again. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. "No dad. It should be me. I wish it was me instead of you." I cried. The separated from me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "No Tiffany. I don't want you to ever feel that way. You have a beautiful voice, it's similar to mine. But why did you choose that part of the song?" He asked. "Because I feel that way." I admitted softly.

He then wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in. It was a loving and affectionate type of hug. I have my arms around his back and my head on his left shoulder. Crying all over again knowing that he will not be here forever like I always thought when I was a child. He began to stroke my hair all the way down to my back. "I don't ever want you to think that. It's going to be ok Tiffany. Can you trust me on that?" He whispered. I didn't know the answer to that. But I can always trust my dad, he's my dad. Nodded and held onto him more tightly. "I love you." He whispered and then kissed the top of my head. I then became so comfortable that I think this is the first time in awhile that I fell asleep in his arms.