Reflections | Jenkai

━✧ Two

December 26th, 2016

"Will you watch the show tonight?"

"I won't be able to."

"Oh... I understand. Good night then."

"You too."

"Yeah."

"Oh, and work hard."

"As always."

"Bye."

"Yeah, bye." Jongin replied almost inaudibly before ending the call with Soojung.

He heaved a deep sigh at the conversation they just had. It wasn't a fight. They never really fought since Jongin gave in most of the time, not letting his emotions take over him. "I guess we don't have much to say to each other anymore either." He thought to himself. 

His members and he were attending the SBS Gayo Daejun this time. The day before was Christmas day, and he did not meet his girlfriend. She was busy, she said. It was evident to Jongin that Soojung made that up because she simply did not want to see him, and probably spent her time with her sister. It was normal, she just wanted to spend time with her sister. Jongin wasn't upset with her. He just realized she accepted to see him much more often when they used to be just friends. "This relationship really ruined everything, didn't it?" He was lost in his thoughts. 

He had bought Soojung a thin bracelet made of white gold, with a diamond resting on it. It was classic and simple, just like she was. He sighed again, wondering when he would be able to give it to her. 

He slid his phone back in his pants' pocket and looked at the floor of the waiting room absentmindedly. They had just walked on the red carpet and the show would start soon, which was why they patiently were waiting in their own waiting room. 

"What do you look so depressed for?" Minseok asked Jongin as he sat down next to him. 

"What are you talking about?"

"Is it Soojung again? Did you two fight?"

"No, we didn't."

"Then what do you look so down for?"

"I don't know." 

"Jongin... Are you happy?"

"What?" Jongin looked up at his member in surprise. He did not quite expect him to suddenly ask him such a question. Truth be told, he did not even know what to answer. 

"Are you happy Jongin?" Jongin looked down as he heaved another sigh. A long, and painful sigh. 

"Now that I think about it, I don't think I've been really happy lately."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Minseok asked, worry in his voice. 

"Not really."

"Jongin. It's ok to talk about what bothers you sometimes, you know. You have the right to complain."

"After the mess that I've caused, after the situation I've put her, you and myself in, I don't think it's right for me to complain."